What Stays
by kg2
Summary: Sequel to "What Matters." This story begins in the fall of 2010. Fitz and Olivia are living their lives, enjoying all that matters. How will their love help them through the hurdles (some expected, some unpredictable) of life? This is part two of the their story, as well as my second fanfic. Thank you for reading!
1. Chapter 1

Three and a half years after their wedding ceremony, and two years after the Reston-Langston ticket was defeated in the general election, Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III was reelected as a senator for California, beginning another six-year term. He had had some opposition, but nobody had really threatened his seat. Fitz was happy to be able to continue working with the momentum he had gained since suspending his presidential campaign in 2008.

There weren't many days when he wondered if he had done the right thing by deciding to end things after Iowa. He had felt in his heart that it wasn't the right time for him, for he and Olivia, to continue to pursue the campaign. For him personally, while had sincerely appreciated all of the hard work of the team that had been dedicated to his campaign for three years, the writing was on the wall. He was also madly in love with his wife, and selfishly wanted more time to spend with her, like a normal couple. As normal as an Olivia Pope and Fitz Grant relationship could be.

When Olivia found her footing at Stanford, her worth ethic, her passion for the details, her drive for perfection was more prominent than he had ever witnessed. It only made him love her more. She came home from work wanting to talk about her day, his day and everything in between. She also came home with energy for other things, things that made Fitz blush just thinking about them as he stood next to her on the stage, waving to the crowd after delivering his acceptance speech. They walked off of the stage with their arms around each other's backs, and shared a kiss as soon as they were out of sight of the crowd.

"Congratulations, Senator," Olivia said.

"Remember how you used to only call me that when you were mad?" he said, pushing her hair out of her face.

"I do," she said, looking at him with wide eyes. "But that was before I knew I loved you. Senator."

"That sounds sexy, say it again," he said.

"Senator Grant!" Cyrus boomed, having been watching the speech from the room with other staff members.

They shook hands, and Olivia laughed to herself. She did a quick scan of her surroundings. Backstage, with her husband, a United States Senator. There were still moments, blips, when she couldn't believe it. But more and more, her life was starting to feel like her own. Less like a dream, and more like something real.

She loved her work. After helping get Stanford's Department of Student Community Service off the ground, she was now leading one of the first departments of its kind in the country. She had a staff, and she enjoyed managing them, but she got her greatest professional pleasure from working with college students who reminded her of herself at that age. That she was able to implement some of her own ideas, set up projects that drew the attention of people around the country, and do some writing on the side made it the perfect job for her. There had been hiccups, for sure. The biggest hurdle had come when she had designed a year-long project for students in which they would deliver medicine to countries without resources abroad. Her justification, and her belief, was that students could learn in the field, by doing what it was they discussed in the classroom. It had been challenged by a conservative state senator who wondered about the provision of funds for "silly side projects of political wives," and Olivia had responded in kind. It had been somewhat messy for Fitz, as he had to comment but also had to stay out of it, but in the end, the project had been a success and universities across the country were now emulating it and praising Olivia for her determination.

She smiled as she watched Fitz and Cyrus catch up. Cyrus had kept his promise following the 2008 election, and had called everyone to see if they were ready to pursue the 2012 nomination. The answer had been no. By that time, everyone had settled into their lives. Abby was a year away from being a licensed lawyer. Harrison and Lindsay were busy with their law practice. Fitz and Olivia were finally into a routine that worked for them, where they saw each other regularly and were living a regular life. Even Cyrus had seemed half-hearted in his persuasion, and after many conversations it was decided that they would not launch a campaign. Cyrus remained in New York with James, but had planned a visit around the time of Fitz's election day.

"Liv, you're looking as classy as ever," he said, kissing her on the cheek. "California has always looked good on you."

"Thanks," she said. "Dinner?"

Fitz gave some interviews, some with Olivia, some alone, and then the three of them headed to Chinatown. They shared a lot of laughs, reminiscing about Cyrus' wedding, telling stories about Fitz's father, Tom. They also debated about the merits of the current president. All agreed he was trying, but mostly failing, to instill real change in the country. Olivia saw the gleam in Cyrus' eyes and knew what was coming. But of course, so did Fitz.

"Well, Cy, I'll answer your question before you ask it. I still don't want to run for president in two years. Even if I did, we're already way behind."

Cyrus laughed and swallowed his dim sum. "You always think the worst of me. It hurts me, you know, that you judge me this way." He feigned sadness.

"Please, we know you too well," Olivia said, smiling.

"I agree that it's late in the game, but don't forget about all of that money we raised. We made promises to people. People still think of you as the best that never was."

"But he's right here," Olivia said, kissing Fitz on the cheek.

"Yeah yeah, and you get him all to yourself. How about sharing him with the rest of us?"

"I don't need to share. He can decide for himself."

"Cy, look, your confidence in me has always been humbling. But I just won an election tonight. I like my life here. This is where I want to be."

"I know. I had to ask, though."

"I know. Is that the only reason you're here?"

"'I'm having dinner with two of my favorite people in the world. Why do I need any other reason?" Cyrus smiled.

Olivia and Fitz both just stared.

"Dammit, fine. Look, Reston is running again. He doesn't want Langston as his running mate. He wants you. He sees you as his ticket to the White House. It's less work, less pressure, less everything. You get to do a lot of smiling and waving, give some speeches, support the candidate, while still getting to live the life you're building for yourself. It's early, and you have time to think, but I got the call and I said I would present it to you."

Fitz was surprised. He had been expecting an epic persuasive speech to run for President, not Vice President. He hadn't even really considered any other options. Olivia squeezed the back of his neck.

"Does it have to be decided right this minute?" she asked, bringing him out of his spell.

"It doesn't. There's time. But Reston is sure, and he wanted you to know long before everything begins in full force that you are his number one. There is no list. It's just you."

"The full court press," Fitz said with a laugh.

"Just think about it. I'm flying out in the morning. We don't have to talk about this again until after the new year."

"Sounds good. And thanks, Cyrus. For having my back. Our backs."

"You know I always hear your father's voice, telling me not to screw you over. That I happen to like you a whole hell of a lot is just a bonus."

Cyrus paid for dinner, hugs were exchanged, and Fitz and Olivia headed home.

Xx

Some changes had been made to the house that first been Fitz's alone before he and Olivia had begun their relationship. The biggest change was the addition of a two-story deck that was accessible from the master bedroom. It gave them a better view of the bay and they often spent their mornings out there, cuddled under a blanket with hot tea to drink and Tock at their feet. Olivia had, with Fitz's blessing, had some of the rooms repainted. The kitchen was now ivory instead of red, the bedroom was a light gray instead of white, and the living room couches had been changed from a southwestern wool print to a luscious mix of brown leather with green, blue and ivory accents. She had added a feminine touch without removing the feeling of Fitz from the house, and that had been essential. She loved the house. She also loved their new dog, Bodger, or Bodgey as she often called him. He was a small Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, and he was a perfect fit for their family. He followed Tock everywhere, trailing behind the most patient St. Bernard in the world, and the two of them explored the yard together and protected the homestead. At night, Bodger would curl up on Olivia's feet, and Tock would sit right next him. This happened as they watched the late local news after returning from dinner with Cyrus.

Fitz looked at them as he came into the room with popcorn.

"Aren't you three just the cutest Grants?" he said, setting the popcorn down, giving each dog a scratch and Olivia a kiss on the top of her head.

"We got it from you," she said.

They watched the news and ate popcorn, neither one bringing up the topic that Cyrus had proposed at dinner. Finally, Olivia turned. Before she could say anything, Fitz started speaking.

"I'm really not sure. That wasn't just me trying to buy more time. I don't know if I want to be Vice President. What do you think?"

"I think it's something to consider. Cyrus was right, that it's a different type of responsibility. It would get your foot in the door, for sure. On the other hand, you would have less pull, or power, to work on the issues that matter to you. So you would have to decide if leaving the Senate would ultimately get you to your goal. If your goal is still to be President, and the last time we discussed this you sounded pretty content."

"And I am. Our life here is amazing. More than I ever hoped for."

"But," Olivia said.

"But, being in a position of power in the White House was the dream. A dream that I put aside, deferred, but didn't totally let go of."

"So then we need to consider this."

"We do. Are you okay with that?"

"Absolutely. We have time. We can think, we can talk, we can figure out what our next step should be together. Which," she said, brushing the salt off of her hands and putting them on his cheeks, "I have to tell you, I love having my next steps be decided with another person. I did it alone for so long. I love you." She kissed him.

"I love you too," he said, laughing.

"That was a sentimental comment, and you laugh at your wife?"

"You taste like popcorn. I love you," he said, before picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom. Tock and Bodger made their way to their beds in the corner of the room, as there was no room for them in bed when Olivia and Fitz were still awake, still exploring, still learning and loving together as if it was the first time, every time.

Four weeks later, Fitz and Olivia found themselves closer to telling Reston they were interested in being his running mate. It was still a year before the real campaigning would begin, and they felt as though that gave them plenty of time to get their lives in order. They had weighed the pros and cons, and felt like the window of opportunity for a stint in Washington, in any capacity, was probably closing. Fitz planned to tell Cyrus on Christmas morning, because they always spoke that morning.

That is, until he walked into the bathroom on Christmas Eve after Olivia beckoned and found her holding a pregnancy test, beaming from ear to ear, the smile she reserved only for him. That moment changed everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Fitz stopped in his tracks and again processed what he was seeing. His wife, his Livi, holding a pregnancy test and smiling. The extra moment of reflection also gave him a chance to see the tears in her eyes.

"Livi, is it, are we?" he asked.

"We are," she said, the tears spilling over onto her cheeks. She used the sleeve of her extra long sweater to wipe her face. "We're pregnant, Fitz."

He was in front of her in a flash, then, and embracing her, squeezing her, not even giving her a chance to put her arms around his neck.

"Fitz, Fitz, I can't breathe," she said, laughing.

He let go, and looked at her face again.

"You, we're pregnant. This is real," he said, touching her face, her lips, he stomach.

"It is," she said. "I take it you're happy?"

"Happy? I am overcome!" He hugged her again, then kissed her deeply, pushing her into the towel rack in the bathroom.

"You will be the best mother to our baby," he said, whispering in her ear, kissing her neck. "Our baby. That sounds so good."

"Our baby," she said quietly.

Fitz stood back. "Livi, are you okay?"

"I'm more than okay. I just had a moment of thinking about me as a mother, and then thinking about my mother. This is one of those times, you know, when you wish you could call your parents and tell them they were going to be grandparents."

"It is. But here's how I think about it. They're still grandparents. They're just not here. You think our child won't have Maeve Pope's values, or Tom Grant's pride? Of course he or she will. Because they're with us, always."

"You're right. And you are going to be an excellent father. To our baby."

"Our baby!" he said, picking her up, setting the pregnancy test on the counter and carrying her to bed.

When they awoke on Christmas morning, they exchanged gifts. Fitz had gotten Olivia a new purse, and a white gold necklace that was a flat circle with the names of their two dogs on the back.

"Had I known we needed to add another name, I might have chosen differently," he said.

Olivia smiled. "This is perfect. Two of my favorite guys, with me always." She fastened the necklace around her neck.

Fitz opened his gift, which was in one large box. It was new jacket, a Burberry trench coat that would be perfect for the cool season in California.

"Livi, this is gorgeous. Thank you," he said, leaning over to kiss her.

"You're welcome. Check the pocket," she said.

He reached into the pocked and pulled out a watch, a pocket watch. Engraved on the back were the names "Tock," "Bodger," "Baby Grant," and "Christmas 2010."

"How did you?" he began.

"I had a feeling," she said, and he kissed her again.

"We are single-handedly keeping engravers in business," Fitz said.

"I have no shame about that," Olivia replied. "These gifts are perfect."

As they shared a breakfast of homemade breakfast burritos, they relished the peace and quiet, the occasional jingle of one of the dog's collars sounding like jingle bells. Olivia rinsed their plates and then turned to Fitz who was doing a crossword puzzle from a book of them Eleanor had given him the previous week when she had been visiting from New Mexico where she now lived.

"So, Cyrus will be calling soon."

Fitz put his pen down on the counter.

"He will."

"Listen, let's say 'yes.' We were ready to say it, and a baby doesn't have to change it. The election is still almost two years away. You will have one year of solitude before it gets busy. I'm behind you," Olivia said, putting her hand on her stomach. "We're behind you."

"You know how much I appreciate you saying that. I really do. But the idea of a family with you trumps the possibility of being Vice President. All I needed was a night of peaceful sleep and waking up next to you to help me get my priorities straight. I want to stay here. Be a family."

"I just fear that you'll resent me, or us, later on. In five years, when Fitz Jr. is in school and you're a senator, you'll think, 'What if?' and that scares me."

"You know me better than that. This is our decision. Assuming it's okay with you, we agree that family comes first. We enjoy this and make decisions about work when the time is right." He stopped, then added, "And our child will not be named Fitz Jr."

Olivia thought for a moment before responding. She knew Fitz was thrilled to be a father. She trusted him. She had no choice but trust what he was telling her now. And she was happy with the decision.

"Well, when Cyrus calls, I'll be in the bath," she said, smiling.

"Hey, we're in this together," he said, coming over to hold her. "How about a little moral support?"

"You'll be fine. Daddy."

He melted in her arms. They spent the rest of the day watching old movies and talking to friends around the state and the country. They bantered about baby names. They walked the dogs. They had a perfect Christmas, just the two of them.

* * *

The conversation with Cyrus had gone well, though Cyrus had been surprised that Fitz was passing on the opportunity to get to the White House. The sitting president was having a rocky presidency, and it was thought by most political strategists that Reston or another candidate from his party might be able to unseat him. Fitz did not share the news about Olivia's pregnancy, as it was early and not something the Grants wanted to share until the time was right.

Olivia distracted herself from persistent morning sickness by throwing herself into her work. If she didn't think about it, and didn't eat things that upset her already sensitive stomach, she found she could ignore the pain, the nausea, the general feeling of sickness. She traveled around to universities to help them pilot programs similar to the one she had started. She spoke to groups about the importance of community service, the benefits, the reason she felt so strongly about it as a learning experience. Her public profile was growing. She had a little bit of power in the academic community and was earning respect through her actions. Where as all she had had during the previous campaign was her word, she now had experience to back up her reputation. She was earning it.

That is why she was called into the Harrison, Abby and Lindsay's law practice on a cold morning in early January. They had a case that they thought might benefit from her consultation. It was a female in her mid-20s who had been a member of the Peace Corps, and she was being sued by a small company in Washington who claimed she owed them money because they had coordinated her travel. The woman denied this, but the company was run by a member of a political party that did not value service, thought the Peace Corps was a waste, and so the case was being aired out in public.

Olivia walked into their office, which was on the top floor of a building of lofts in downtown San Francisco. The team was waiting for her in their conference room, which was surrounded by windows. There were a lot of folders and papers piled up on the desk. Olivia listened to Abby explain the situation.

"It's ridiculous that this agency is dragging this girl through the mud because the head honcho hates the Peace Corps. Who hates the Peace Corps?"

"They have ulterior motives, obviously. Can I see her photo, and the photos of the other people involved?"

Harrison slid a photo of the client down the table. "Here's our girl. We don't really have photographs of the others involved."

"I'm kind of a visual person," Olivia said. "It's easier for me to think about how to approach things if it it's laid out for me."

"On it," Lindsay said, and she walked down the hall to ask her assistant to print the pictures of the necessary people.

An hour later, Olivia had laid out the case on top of the conference table with the client's photo in the middle. All of the other pictures were around her in a circle, and were on top of the piles of evidence and interviews Harrison, Lindsay and Abby had already conducted. Olivia stood in the middle of the table, trying to see the connections. Everyone else just watched.

She had it. "How old is the daughter of the president of the agency?" Olivia asked, pointing.

Abby flipped through his file. "She's 24, the same age as our client."

"Do they have any mutual friends? Contacts? Common interests?"

"Client is a Georgetown grad, I think the honcho's kid went," Harrison began.

"To Georgetown. Why, Liv?" Abby asked.

"We need to find a way to compel this guy to see it our way. He's too far gone politically, in the pockets of too many of these side players. But daddy's little girl, who majored in what?"

"Sociology, minor in English, spent a year abroad teaching English in South Korea," Abby said, the excitement in voice building.

"Daddy's little girl can help others, but your client can't? Sounds like an obvious double standard and something he surely wouldn't want exposed to his cronies in Washington."

"Liv, good lord." Harrison shook his head.

"So what, we just go there and tell him what we know and he'll just cave?" Lindsay asked.

"More or less. You guys can figure out the rest." Olivia started packing her things.

"Thanks, Liv. You have a mind for this, you know," Abby said.

"Happy to help. You guys still coming for dinner on Friday?" Olivia and Fitz had invited the group over to announce her pregnancy. She would be seven weeks on Friday, and she just couldn't wait any longer to share the news with her friends.

They all nodded, hugged goodbye, and Olivia could hear the hum of excitement as she made her way to the elevator. She smiled, satisfied with the help she had provided but also excited to get back to Stanford.

On Thursday evening, Olivia hustled through the grocery store picking up the items she would cook for dinner the following evening. She was going to make fresh, almost gourmet grilled sandwiches. Grilled cheese, grilled chicken, fresh mozzarella and tomato, skirt steak. She was learning her way around the kitchen. She had had some successes and failures, but had purchased good ingredients and some gadgets to help her. She wanted to be a better cook. For her, for Fitz, for their guests, for their baby. As she walked into the house, her phone beeped.

**Running late. Home by 9:00. Love you.**  
**Fitz**

She responded.

**Trying a tomato bisque. You might want to hurry. Love you.**  
**Livi**

**Hope it works out better than the pepper jelly from last summer.**  
**Fitz**

**Those peppers were rotten from the start!**  
**Livi**

**Of course they were. I'm sure the bisque will be great.**  
**Fitz**

**No you aren't. Thanks for your support though.**  
**Livi**

**Olivia Grant, I love you.**  
**Fitz**

**And soon, you'll love my cooking.**  
**Livi**

Olivia worked on prepping as much as she could for the meal. She listened to internet radio, something she had recently been introduced to but that she loved. She turned on the small kitchen television to check the latest news. She walked the dogs in the backyard and sat with them by the fire. She didn't check her watch until she had done all of the things she would normally do. It was five minutes to 9:00. Her first thought was that Fitz would be home any minute, because if he was going to be later than he planned, he would have told her. He always did. Her second thought was that she was lucky to have a husband who communicated with her in a way that made her feel special. Her third thought, and the fact that it was third would be something for which she punished herself for many weeks, was that in all the time she had been home, she had felt great. No nausea. No lightheadedness. Even with all of her putzing around, she had felt the spring in her step. As if she weren't pregnant.

She put her hand on her stomach, but of course there was nothing to feel. It was too early to feel. She should have known that. She stood slowly from her spot next to the dogs and walked to the bathroom. The dread set in. The knowing. The way she had known when her parents exited the final doctor's office before her mother's death. The way she had known when Fitz's father had passed away. She knew. And she had allowed herself to bask in the happiness of a carefree night in her beautiful home, waiting for her beautiful husband. Before she even reached the bathroom, the anger set in. When she saw the blood, it turned to guilt. When she heard the garage and Fitz call her name, it became despair. She could not speak. She could not move. She was a statue sitting on the bathroom floor, where Fitz found her after spotting the dogs waiting for her outside of the door.

He knocked.

"Livi? Everything okay? The Grant guys are worried out here. You should see Bodgey, he would have opened the door himself if he had thumbs."

She remained a statue.

"Livi?"

She opened her mouth, but it was dry. She reached up and turned the knob, just barely enough for Fitz to open the door. The dogs rushed in, but Fitz shooed them away.

He looked around the bathroom for a hint about what was wrong. But there was no physical evidence. Except for his wife. His beloved wife, immobile and stunned, sitting on the floor, pressing her hands to the tile as if to steady herself.

"Livi, please just talk to me. I'm home. I'm sorry I'm late. What is it?"

She turned. The despair was overwhelming. The inevitable disappointment he would feel. Because no matter what he said to reassure her, and he would say all of the right things because he was Fitz and he loved her, she was about to break his heart.

"I'm officially worried. Olivia. Talk to me."

She remembered then that a counselor had said this to her after her father's death. Talk to me. Tell me things. Give me something so I know you'll be okay. Then, Olivia had complied, and she hadn't cared about the counselor. She cared about Fitz more than anything. He deserved the truth.

"Fitz. The baby. It's gone."

* * *

Author's note: The summary for this story mentioned hurdles. I hope you'll stick with me, knowing that Fitz and Olivia happy is and will always be the end of their story. Even if things are somewhat bumpy along the way, as life tends to be for those of us in the real world.


	3. Chapter 3

The five stages of grief, as described to Olivia by her therapist, were generally used to help people understand the way they were feeling following a loss. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Yes, grief is an individual process. It is different for everyone, but still, when Olivia laid awake at night in bed, her hand resting on Fitz's broad chest, she thought about how she fit in to the phases.

Olivia felt like she had skipped the first phase altogether. She knew the baby was gone before she had even reached the bathroom. She was constantly angry, but not with anyone except herself. She was angry that she hadn't noticed sooner, despite multiple doctor's telling them that miscarriages, though dreadful and sad, are one of the body's natural processes and all of the tests showed she could try to get pregnant again soon, and that there were no biological issues that would prevent her from being a mother. Still, she was mad at herself. Mad for enjoying life too much. The old Olivia, the pre-Fitz Olivia, was guarded. Protective. She didn't enjoy anything, but she also protected herself from disappointments.

As for bargaining, it seemed as though it was greatly tied to the anger. Should she have been under more diligent care of a doctor? Should she have been paying attention to the signs in her body instead of ignoring them and pressing forward? Could she have prevented this? Again, the doctors told her no. Her therapist told her no. Fitz told her no. And yet, she wondered, would always wonder, if that were the truth.

Depression set in after the follow-up doctor's appointment following the testing that had occurred the Friday morning in the hospital. She was fine. Her body was fine. Fitz was fine. What that sounded like to Olivia, what it felt like, was that she had failed. That she had failed this baby, that it should be growing safely inside her, and that it was her fault the baby was gone. She was deeply sad. She worked, but felt as though she was walking around in a fog. She spent time with Fitz, but most of their interactions were quiet, dream-like, barely registering as conversations. She spent most of her time at home laying on the couch with her dogs, who sensed she was suffering and stayed close.

As she read online about the stages of grief, scrolling down to acceptance, she laughed out loud as she sipped her wine. Surely there had to be a better word for it. Though Olivia, despite her large vocabulary and her creative way of communicating, could come up with nothing better. She would never get over this loss. She would always feel it, just as she felt the loss of her parents. She especially missed her mother in the days following her miscarriage. Had her mother struggled to get pregnant? Was that why Olivia was an only child? These were questions Olivia thought about, despite knowing she would never have any answers.

A week later at the breakfast table, Olivia found herself with tears in her eyes as she drank some fresh-squeezed orange juice, something she had been avoiding while pregnant.

Fitz came to her side of the table and put his arm around her. She turned to him.

"Fitz, I'm so sorry I ruined this for us," she said, wiping her face.

He kissed the tears on her cheek.

"Nothing is ruined. We lost a baby. It's incredibly sad. But we have each other, and we'll try again, and there's no reason to think we won't have a baby of our own someday. Not when we thought, but someday."

"I meant the vice presidency," Olivia said in a monotone, not even addressing any of his positive thoughts about a future baby.

"Really, Livi? Family trumps the White House. That still applies. Just because we've had a setback doesn't mean…"

"A setback?" The shrill in her voice startled Fitz. She rarely sounded so out of control. She rarely was out of control. He knew how hard this for her, and it was for him, too. But he knew she was feeling the loss of a baby not just as what it was, but also as a personal failure.

"Look, I don't know the right words. I just mean we aren't done. There's still time for us. We'll get there. I'm not moving onto plan b yet because plan a is still real."

"How do you know? What if this happens again? I can't do this again. I hear stories of people who have three, four miscarriages before they get pregnant. I can't do that. This. I can't do this."

She slid her chair back from the table and stood. She immediately felt guilty, but also knew she could not sit next to him and his positive thinking for one more moment.

"I'm sorry. I need to be alone."

She turned, grabbed her robe, and headed to the deck.

Fitz sat at the table for a long time. He finished the juice Olivia had only taken a sip of. He wished there was someone he could talk to. He had declined to see a therapist, and instead had hoped that Olivia would have invited him to one of her sessions. He had searched online for how to respond to someone going through this type of loss, had even walked through a bookstore after a lunch downtown. He realized, at some point, that he was going through it too. That even though they were in it together, what they were feeling and experiencing was different.

He doodled on the side of his crossword puzzle and looked at the clock. He called his assistant and told her he was going to be late. He didn't want to leave yet. He slid his chair over to the window, so he was sitting right behind Olivia. She was just staring out at the bay. He grabbed his tea from the table and sat with her.

After an hour, the statue that was his wife moved for the first time. She stood and turned around, and what she saw simultaneously made her want to smile and crumble into a million little pieces. There was Fitz, sitting in a kitchen chair, head down, dozing. He had been sitting behind her, she figured, for the entire time since she had left the table. He might not know what to say, but he did know what to do.

She quietly walked inside and brushed the back of his neck. He woke and looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Let's go to bed," she said, taking his hand.

The walked to their bedroom, got under the covers, and Fitz held her as she silently cried herself to sleep. It was 9:00am, but it was the best three hours of sleep she had gotten in a week. When she awoke at noon, Fitz's arms were still securely around her, and he was looking out of the window over her shoulder. She turned to face him.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking," he said, pushing some of her hair out of her face, "that I wish things were different, but that I really think we're going to be okay. Don't be mad at me for being positive. I miss our baby. I miss that possibility. But you're in my arms, and that's how I know that we'll be okay. And also, I'm sorry I can't help you. I wish I could."

She kissed his cheek. "You're helping me just by being here. That nap has inspired me to shower. Next up, I'll conquer the world."

"It's the next natural step," he said, laughing.

"I know you're right, that we're okay. I feel that too. I'm just so sad. I was so happy, and now I'm so sad, and it's exactly the feeling I tried to avoid for all of the years before I met you."

"I understand," he said.

"You do?"

Fitz smiled, a small smile. "You feel like it's out of your hands. And for the most part it is. That's hard for most people to accept, but you're Olivia Grant."

She smiled. "That word, accept. I just don't, can't, won't, accept this."

"Just because someone says you should doesn't mean you have to. We grieve, we keep moving, all at once. You and I both know that."

"You're wise, Fitzgerald Grant. Very wise."

He held her close, smelling her hair. She buried her face in his chest and put her arms around his waist. They stayed like that until early afternoon, when Fitz had to be ready for a conference call and Olivia finally showered. It had been three days, and the feeling of the hot water was a relief. She wasn't back to normal. She wasn't healed. But she was moving, as Fitz had suggested.

Olivia's birthday fell on the Friday two weeks following her miscarriage. She was ready to see her friends. The dinner party that had been abruptly canceled was rescheduled, and as she sipped her wine and felt Fitz's hand on her shoulder, she smiled to herself. Earlier that day, her therapist had asked her to describe the things in her life for which she was grateful. Everyone that now sat in her living room watching basketball was named. Harrison and Abby, Lindsay and Jesse, Fitz and the dogs. And Eleanor. She had arrived that afternoon. Fitz had texted Olivia to ask her to help him carry something in from the garage. She had just arrived home from work and was slightly annoyed until she opened the door and saw Eleanor being helped from the passenger seat. Fitz had told her; Olivia could tell by the look on her face. The two women embraced, and Olivia didn't want to let go.

"Olivia, you are a strong, beautiful woman," Eleanor whispered into her ear.

"So are you, Ms. Eleanor. Thank you for being here."

"Of course. You all just keep inviting me to dinner parties, and I'll keep saying yes. Happy birthday, my dear."

"Thank you." Olivia found her eyes filling with tears. She made eye contact with Fitz over Eleanor's shoulder and mouthed 'thank you," before helping her inside.

Later, after the dishes had been cleared and the guests had left, except for Eleanor who was asleep in a guest bedroom, Olivia found herself in her favorite spot. Next to her husband. She turned.

"I'm serious about the White House. I think the time is now. We're in a good place, well, we're on our way. There's no baby. I think we should do it."

"Livi," he said, putting the television on mute. "I appreciate that. I know you mean it, somewhere. But I don't want to be vice president. I've had a lot of time to think the past couple of weeks. I don't want to be vice president."

"I just, you know, I feel like plans were made and now things have changed."

"Of course they have. But we're still us. We still have priorities. I hope we'll have a family someday. If we don't, I hope I'll always be as happy right here next to you as I am right now. But like I said," Fitz paused.

"You don't want to be vice president," Olivia finished for him.

He kissed her.

"Do you remember our wedding day? I told you that you make me braver?"

Olivia smiled, remembering Fitz's chicken scratch handwriting and the note she had read before they exchanged vows. She nodded.

"I want to be President. I want you to the First Lady. I want our kids to run around on the south lawn, our dogs to be on Christmas cards from the White House. That's what I want. These last two weeks," he said, his voice hitching.

Tears spilled out of his eyes.

She reached up and wiped them away. He cried silently for a minute, maybe two. She said nothing. What was there to say? He had been so strong for her. He needed this, just as she had needed to grieve in her own way.

"Livi, these last two weeks, watching you, listening to you cry, wishing I could fix it. Hardest days of my life. But watching you come out on the other side? Figure out a way to press on? You are so brave. The bravest. And it's inspiring," he said, sniffling, coughing, trying to stop the waterworks.

"Fitz," Olivia said.

"No, no, Livi. You need to hear this. This has been devastating. But you'll be okay. We're going to be okay. I'm so proud of you. I'm so sorry it happened. But I'm so proud of you."

She threw her arms around him and cried, sobbed, into his neck. He held her, almost like a child, on the couch, and she could feel his tears on her neck. It might have been a minute. It might have been an hour. But when she finally let go, when she had cried all of the tears, and he had, too, she looked into his eyes and said the only thing she could think of to say.

"You're going to make a great father someday."

He kissed her passionately. They had only hugged, held each other, and kissed briefly since the fateful night two weeks ago. This kiss felt different. It felt like a promise. When Fitz felt Olivia's hands slide under his shirt, he shivered. It was almost like it was the first time. He didn't make any moves, he didn't want to move to fast, but he let her explore and feasted on her neck and collarbone.

"Take me to bed," Olivia whispered.

"Of course, but," Fitz said.

"But what?"

"Are you ready? Are you sure?"

"Make love to me, Fitz. I feel ready. I'll be sure to let you know if that changes." She smiled, stood, and led him to the bedroom.

Olivia awoke the next morning in Fitz's arms. The dogs had at some point joined them. They had made love only once, slowly, and it had not been the most passionate, erotic session of their relationship. Though it had been cautious, it was also compassionate. Eyes open. Deep breaths. Her hands feeling every inch of his face, his hands cradling her and making her feel safe. When they both reached the end, it was quiet and simultaneous. Breathing heavily, she had looked into his eyes and known that he was right. They would be okay. She still yearned for the baby they had lost. She always would. But as she had told Fitz on a few occasions, she was found because of him. In this bed, with this man, in this life, she was found.


	4. Chapter 4

As Olivia left her therapist's office in early March, after what would be for the time being their final visit together, she felt confident. She breathed in the fresh California air and started making her way to her office. She had been seeing a counselor at Stanford regularly for two months, the first time in her life she had spoken to someone, a trained mental health professional, about how she was feeling. Fitz had joined her for two sessions during February, as they dealt with their fears about trying for another baby. But this last session had felt more like a celebration, as Olivia had been promoted at work, she didn't feel sad every moment of every day, and she had hope for the future. Her therapist said she was welcome back any time, but that the weekly meetings probably weren't necessary.

The time spent in counseling gave Olivia a newfound appreciation for those in the mental health field. She had avoided help in her teenage years, run from it, actively despised any suggestion of it. But she wondered now how it might have changed her outlook, if she had had the same kind of support then? She thought about all of the news stories where the alleged criminals also had a history of mental health challenges. Were they getting the support they needed? She predicted the answer to that was probably not. As she set her things down in her office, she wondered if there was something she could do, some kind of work or even volunteering, to pay it forward.

The time for that, she knew, was dwindling. Fitz was seriously considering making "the call" to Cyrus and entering the presidential race for 2012. It was very late in the game; the election was in less than two years and nobody had been actively working on fundraising since very early in 2008. But Olivia supported Fitz in this decision. It was as if their loss at the beginning of the year had given him a moment to think. They had had many discussions over the last two months. Fitz didn't want Olivia to have to give up the career she had built. Olivia didn't want Fitz to make decisions because of her. She knew there would be sacrifices, but as Cyrus had said to her years ago, the destination, the White House, was worth it. If it happened. She got the sense that Fitz was delaying making the call because of the way his previous campaign had ended. She had twenty minutes until her first meeting of the afternoon, so she called him.

"Livi, how was your last session?" he said upon answering. She could tell he was walking somewhere. But as always, he answered whenever he could.

"It felt good. Reassuring. Where are you headed?" Fitz was in Washington.

"Heading to the Hill now. There's a vote budget vote today, trying to keep things going so we can get this sorted out."

"Right. Have you called Cyrus?" she laughed, as she now asked him this at least once during all of their conversations.

"Actually," he said, laughing, "we're meeting for dinner tonight. I want to tell him in person. He's taking the express down and we're having steak."

"You're doing it in person? Please remember every detail about the look on his face so you can describe it to me later."

"Will do. You're still sure?" Fitz asked.

"Absolutely. Let's do this. If Cyrus says we can."

Fitz laughed. "Okay, I'm here. Enjoy your day. I'll call you later."

"I love you," Olivia said.

"I love you too."

Olivia ended the call, sat back, and smiled. She would be waiting anxiously for the details of Fitz's conversation with Cyrus. She would also listen very carefully around dinner time to see if she could hear his brain exploding all the way across the country.

* * *

Fitz sat across from Cyrus as they enjoyed their shrimp cocktail appetizer.

"How's Liv?" Cyrus asked.

"Well. Promoted. Kicking ass, taking names. You know, the usual." Cyrus didn't know about her miscarriage. They had decided to keep it between them.

"Naturally." Cyrus swallowed, wiped his hands on the table, and then held them out as if to say 'So?'

"Cy, I asked you to dinner because I wanted to get your opinion about something."

Silence.

"I've had some time to think this winter, and I still don't want to be Reston's running mate."

"Dammit, Fitz. Don't get me all excited. Waiter? Another drink, please."

"Cy, Cy, let me finish. I don't want to be his running mate. I want to President."

Cyrus stared. Fitz waited.

"Well," Cyrus said, looking at his wrist for effect as he was not wearing a watch, "I'm sure glad you told me this with enough time to appropriately prepare a serious run. You know, with months and months to raise the kind of money we need. To hire a staff. To prepare for the political onslaught of entering the race. Thanks, Fitz, for making my life easier. As always."

Fitz laughed.

"I know it's not ideal. But I want to do this, and I want you to help me. I won't take no for an answer."

"I have a life! A husband! I'm comfortable. Things are good. It's March, and other candidates have been out there for at least a year. This is, I don't know, this would be a marathon. A short marathon in terms of a campaign, but a shitload of work. Exhausting."

"And you would love every second," Fitz said.

"About that, you are correct."

They both laughed. Again, Fitz waited.

"You're serious?"

"I am."

"And Olivia is in?"

"She's in. And where some people may have considered her a liability before, she's stronger than ever."

Cyrus looked up at the ceiling, calculating something or other while Fitz watched his mind work.

"For God's sake, let's do it."

Fitz stood and the two men embraced.

"Thanks, Cy. I really didn't want anyone but you."

"Of course not. Your father would roll over in his grave if you entrusted this to anyone else.

"That he would." Fitz thought of his dad then. He hoped he would proud. Proud that Fitz was taking this risk. Again.

"Well, I assume you want to do this from California? I'll head back and work on some logistics this weekend. You do the same. Let me know if there are any people you want on board. The usual suspects are sort of tied up, might need some new faces. Unless you can convince them. Actually, leave that to Liv."

"She can be very persuasive," Fitz said, thinking of his wife, knowing she would be waiting for the details of this conversation.

"Look, I promised James I'd be home for a late dinner. I need to buy some good wine on the way to break this to him. I'm going to catch the next train, but we'll talk soon."

"Sounds great. And Cyrus, thank you."

"Thank you. Living a comfortable, relaxing life doesn't suit me, anyway."

* * *

Olivia giggled under the covers listening to Fitz tell her about his meeting with Cyrus.

"He and you are alike in that way. When you're thinking, it's a sight to behold. You can almost see the wheels turning."

She laughed. "So what am I thinking now?"

"That's not fair. I can't see you," Fitz said.

"Just guess," she said quietly.

"You're thinking about what you'll wear on inauguration day."

"No. Good guess though. And I like that optimism."

"Thank you. You're thinking what the hell have we gotten ourselves into?"

"Nope."

"Tell me, Livi."

"I'm thinking this bed is too big without you. I wish you were next to me."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She sighed heavily.

"What would you do if I was?"

She blushed and stayed silent.

"Done blushing?"

"Shut up!"

"I love that I still make you blush. How many times have we had phone sex, and you still giggle like it's the first time, every time."

"Comfort zone! I need you, but this is way, way, way outside of my comfort zone."

"Well, allow me to make you a little more comfortable," Fitz said, lowering his voice, almost growling.

* * *

Fitz was home by the following Tuesday, and plans were in motion for his second campaign for president. Abby, Harrison, Lindsay and Jesse were in, to Fitz's surprise. Though Cyrus was right. Olivia had invited them over for dinner, takeout Chinese, and the pitch had been flawless. She had pitched a winner. They could be on the right side of history, or they could be on the sidelines. It was agreed that they would need six weeks to finish with their current clients, and for Jesse to finish his time at his company, but the original team was back together. After they left, Olivia and Fitz walked the dogs, then decided to shower together. The shower in their bathroom was huge, with two benches, as they often showered together in the mornings. It gave them time alone together before Fitz had to travel, and it was just something they enjoyed doing. Especially when it led to them making love with the warm water pouring down on them, steam filling their lungs, the warmth of their bodies increased and the thrill making every touch, every kiss, that much more sensual.

This time, Olivia held onto the showerhead while Fitz slowly filled her from behind, his hands on her breasts, his head on her neck. She let one hand go and grabbed his thigh, helping to guide him in and out of her. Slowly, tenderly and excruciatingly full of pleasure. When she came, she had to bend over, and he grabbed her hips for two more thrusts before coming with her. They sat down on the floor of the shower, their legs intertwined, catching their breath.

"Love you," Fitz said.

"Do you think the White House has a shower like this?"

Fitz laughed. Bellowed. She loved that laugh.

They made their way to bed. Olivia put on lotion and crawled under the covers, watching Fitz towel off, run his hands through his wet curls and join her. She was immediately ready for round two.

"You know I love your hair," she said, rolling him onto his back and straddling him. "You can't just go all hair model and expect me to lie here and do nothing."

Fitz looked at her in awe, then removed her nightshirt, which was still just one of his old t-shirts. She was naked underneath.

"Olivia Grant, twice in one day, twice in one hour. What has gotten into you?"

"I'm excited about what's next. Mr. President," she said, leaning over, her breasts touching his chest, kissing him behind his ear. He was immediately hard and ready for round two, as well.

"Say it again," he said, running his hands up and down her back.

She did, and then she had her way with him. She had learned a lot in almost four years of marriage. As she fell asleep in his arms later that night, she felt grateful that the love they first exchanged so many years ago had stayed. That the feelings were still real and present and the most important thing in their lives. That she was feeling like herself again.

* * *

Campaign headquarters was located in a one-story office building in San Francisco. The campaign occupied the entire space. Cyrus was there by mid-March, this time bringing James with him to help with media relations for the campaign. It was amazing how many people had been hired within two weeks. There was a staff of almost 75 people, crammed into the biggest conference room in the office, when Fitz and Olivia entered on the first day of work following his announcement of his candidacy on 60 Minutes the previous evening.

"I can't tell you what it means to us that you're all here, ready to go on this journey with us. You're here because you care about making this country better, and because you think that together, all of us can make a difference. This isn't just about me. It's about all of us. Thank you in advance for your hard work and dedication. I'm, we're, Olivia and I, we're both so thrilled to see you all. Let's get to work!"

Everyone cheered. Olivia walked Fitz back to his office, which was actually one of the smaller offices in the building since for the near future, he wouldn't be occupying it very much.

"Good speech," she said, straightening his tie.

"Thanks. You heading out?"

"Yeah, I have a busy day at work. And I have a couple of stops to make on my way. But I told them I wanted to be here this morning."

"Thanks, Livi. See you at home."

"See you at home." She kissed him, then headed to her car.

She was truthful when she said she had some stops to make. She had just omitted that the first was to her doctor, where she wanted to follow up on a pregnancy test she had taken that morning. Her period was four days late. But it had been irregular, and certainly she was slightly more stressed than usual. The test had been negative, but she wanted to have some blood drawn, just to be sure.

The lesson Olivia learned an hour later? Pregnancy tests can be wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia sat in her car, a small white SUV that she had purchased after her first raise at Stanford. She had her head on the steering wheel. Over the last five years of her life, she thought, there had been so many moments where she felt two feelings at once. Love and fear. Sadness and hope. Excitement and longing. This was another one of those moments. Her doctor had confirmed that, yes, she was pregnant. She was elated. She was also terrified. She needed to tell Fitz immediately, but she also needed to be alone. She sat back in the seat and looked up. She could drive back to headquarters, tell Fitz and spend the day with him. Instead, she drove to Stanford and went about her business as best she could. She tried to process all of the different pieces of information in her head. She was pregnant. They had just announced that Fitz was running for President of the United States. She loved her job. She would have to quit eventually. She was less than three months removed from a miscarriage. She felt good. All of these facts floated around her all day, followed her, to her meetings, to the class she observed, to her car at the end of the day, and into the house where Fitz was waiting with sushi. Of course, he had picked sushi.

"Hi baby," he said, kissing her.

He immediately sensed something was up.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Hi," she said, dropping her purse and her messenger bag on the island.

"Livi?" he asked.

She looked at him. She didn't want this to be a big thing. She wanted to take it slow. Not get ahead of themselves. She rested one hand on the counter and grabbed one of his hands with the other.

"Fitz, we can't, well, I can't have sushi for dinner."

"Oh. Sorry, I just thought since it had been a while, it sounded good. We can always grab something else."

"I mean, I am unable to ingest some of the ingredients in sushi right now."

He let go of her hand and put both of his on the back of his head. She smiled.

"You can't have sushi? As in, you can't have raw fish?"

"I cannot."

He stepped toward her.

"Livi?"

She nodded.

"Oh my god," he said, wrapping his arms around her. She did the same. They stood holding each other in the kitchen.

"You're sure?" he asked into her hair.

"I went to the doctor this morning after the announcement. Then I walked around in a fog for six hours, and called her back to make sure I heard her correctly. So yes, I'm sure."

He laughed. "I love you so much," he said. She heard him sniffle. She stepped back.

"I love you too. Let's just take this one day at a time, okay?"

"Absolutely. Livi, this is our baby."

"I hope so," she said. And she did. She really did.

Fitz put the sushi in the refrigerator and they ordered a pizza. He spent most of the meal just staring at her. She was always beautiful, but tonight she seemed even more so. He told her as much as they laid in bed holding each other.

"You're too kind," she said.

"Are you feeling okay? Anything you need?"

"I feel fine. It's so early. Let's see how I answer that in a week."

A week later, Olivia and Fitz were at the doctor's office. It was too early to see much on an ultrasound, but they elected to have one anyway. There was definitely a place in Olivia's body where something was starting to grow, but that was all they could see on the screen. The doctor came in and estimated she was almost five weeks along. She would have an ultrasound in three weeks where they would hopefully hear the heartbeat and check her progress.

Olivia and Fitz walked out of the office hand in hand. Fitz had a huge smile on his face. Olivia was happy to see him so happy. She squeezed his hand and he looked over.

"That was our baby," he said.

"That was our baby's sac," she said.

"Details," he said, stopping and lifting her up and spinning her around. "That's our baby."

* * *

The morning sickness, the all-day sickness, returned. Olivia worked, but this time around, she noticed all of the pain. She didn't ignore it. She was even secretly keeping track of all of the different feelings she felt so that if something went wrong, she could analyze it later. She hoped with all that she had that her neurosis was futile, but she couldn't help herself. The plan was to tell the most important members of the staff after the 8-week ultrasound, the rest of the staff after passing the 12-week marker, and then making a formal announcement at 14 weeks. Right now, Fitz, Olivia and Cyrus were the only people who knew about the pregnancy, other than Olivia's doctors.

Fortunately, April in California is mild, so Olivia purchased some empire-waist suits and dresses, some peasant blouses, and shells for under her blazers that were not form-fitting. Unfortunately, Abby was a female who noticed details, and that is how Olivia found herself cornered in Abby's office the afternoon she had arrived to ride with Fitz to their next ultrasound.

"Liv, tell me. Tell me I'm right," Abby said.

"About what? My fashion choices as of late? Yes, I've been going flowy. It's trendy. You know me."

"Because you're," she started with a raised voice, and then lowered it, "because you're pregnant."

Olivia looked at her. Abby had been her first real friend. She had played an important role in getting Fitz and Olivia to where they were today.

"Abby, I swear, if you mention this to anyone," Olivia began.

"Oh my god, Liv! Congratulations!" she squeezed Olivia into a hug.

"Thank you, we're excited. Hopefully going to hear a heartbeat today and were planning to tell you shortly afterward. I should have known your sneaky good observational skills would get the best of our plan."

"My lips are sealed. I'll give you 48 hours before I tell Harrison."

"Wow, thanks Abby," Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

"It's more than I would give most people! Now go! Get out of here. Go see your baby." They hugged one more time and Olivia made her way to Fitz's office.

They were quiet on the ride over in Fitz's car, a forest green SUV. They both knew the stakes. She was further along now than she had been before. Hearing the heartbeat, knowing this baby had stayed longer than the first, would be a milestone.

When Fitz parked the car, he looked at her before opening the door.

"Ready?" he said, quietly.

"Ready," she said, leaning over to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you, too. No matter what," he said.

Olivia laid back in the chair and felt the cold ointment being spread onto her stomach. Fitz whispered into her ear how beautiful she was. She looked into his eyes, then looked up at the ceiling and closed hers. She thought of her mother, of course. She thought of the baby they had lost. She just waited, waited to hear the sweet sound of a heartbeat.

"Alrighty, here we go," the doctor said. They didn't have a technician, for privacy and at Fitz's request. Olivia was glad.

The doctor turned the screen on and Fitz narrated that he was seeing a picture like the one before. Olivia's eyes remained closed and she held tightly onto Fitz's hand. There was a pause, and Olivia heard Fitz ask if that was normal. She held her breath and kept her eyes closed.

"Let's take a listen."

Olivia heard a click, and then immediately, the thump-thump sound filled the room. She turned her head to Fitz, opened her eyes and saw him smiling like a mad man. She smiled broadly, too, a real smile. She would look back on this moment and recognize that it was the first time she 100% believed that everything would be okay. She turned toward the screen. What she saw confused her.

"Is that, are those, what am I seeing?" she said, wiping her eyes from the tears that had formed at the sound of the heartbeat.

"Senator?" the doctor said, smiling.

"Those," Fitz said, brushing some hair out of Olivia's eyes, "are our babies."

"Plural?"

"Yes. When I saw the picture, I could see, just like you can, that there are two babies."

"Twins?"

Fitz laughed. "Twins. Livi, we are having twins."

She turned to the doctor, he eyes still full of questions, unable to form even a one-word fragment.

"He was correct when he saw on the screen is not a typical pregnancy in that it is fraternal twins, formed from two eggs, each occupying their own placenta. We can see that here," she pointed. "If they were identical, they would share a placenta."

"Oh my god," Olivia said. "Are they okay?"

"They're perfect. I want to do a little more looking around, but I'll give you guys a moment." She took off her gloves and quietly exited the room.

"Livi," Fitz said.

"Fitz," she said, turning toward him.

Despite it being covered in ultrasound ointment, he one hand on her stomach and one hand on her cheek.

"Is this real?" she asked.

"It is. Baby, we are having twins. We are having twins!" he exclaimed and laughed at the same time.

"Oh my god, oh my god, we're having twins," she said, her eyes welling up with tears. She grabbed his hand and held it with both of hers over her heart.

"Fitz, this is, I can't even," she said.

"There are no words. Well, just one. Twins," and he leaned over and kissed her passionately. "I love you."

"I love you too. Oh my god."

"Should I go get the doctor?" Fitz asked.

She put her hands on either side of his face. "No. Let's just sit for one minute."

They sat, looking at each other, the screen, her stomach. For one minute, they sat quietly and pondered what might happen next.

"I am so happy," Fitz finally said.

"Me too," Olivia said. And she was.

* * *

Olivia was due in early December. With fraternal twins. This information was shared with their close friends and colleagues over dinner the following week. The response was elation. Greg and Mellie were thrilled, having watched Fitz with Hannah over the years. Cyrus and James whispered about adoption. Abby and Harrison shared a look, a question. Lindsay and Jesse started guessing names. They hashed out how to make the announcement the following day at work. Olivia and Fitz would appear on a morning news program to share the news in four weeks. Because of the tenuous nature of carrying twins, it was decided that nobody else on the staff would be informed until just before the announcement.

The team also had various meetings, this time including Olivia, about what a pregnancy might mean for Fitz's run at the presidency. The babies would be born a year before the general election. Olivia knew the timing wasn't perfect, and that they would get a lot of questions about how much time he was spending with his growing children while on the campaign trail. She worked closely with everyone developing answers to those types of questions. She did, after all, have a way with words.

Two weeks before they were set to announce, Olivia's phone buzzed. It was a text from Cyrus, asking her to call him immediately. She did. She shouldn't have been surprised, given the amount of control she liked to have over her life, but word of her pregnancy had leaked. It might have been a suspicious colleague at Stanford, it might have been someone at headquarters, it didn't really matter. The news had leaked, and the announcement would happen the following day. Unfortunately, Fitz was in Washington and Olivia was in California. It was naturally not ideal to have them be apart of an announcement of this magnitude. One of Fitz's aides was making last-minute travel arrangements to get him to San Francisco, and they would sit in their family room and speak remotely with the television host. It would be similar to the day they announced their engagement, but also very different. They had been married for almost four years. If they had seemed like an unstoppable couple before, an interview with little preparation wouldn't faze them.

Olivia was dressed in a pale pink lightweight sweater, ivory slacks and pearls. Fitz wore a classic white collared shirt and a lightweight gray sweater. They were a stunning couple, as always, and it did not go unnoticed by Cyrus and Lindsay, who were at the house dealing with the technical crew from the television network.

Cyrus walked over and whispered something in Fitz's ear. Olivia watched Fitz's eyes get big. Cyrus gave him a tap on the shoulder.

"What is it?" she asked.

He sighed. "They figured out who alerted the media. Cyrus had Jesse dig a little bit."

"And?"

"It was Mellie. Not on purpose. But she told a friend, who told a friend, that kind of thing. I'm not worried about it. It's a little early, but I don't think it matters."

"It doesn't, not this time. But perhaps you should have Cyrus talk about privacy at the next staff meeting. I don't want my pregnancy being updated daily for People Magazine."

"Agreed. Can we just enjoy this?" Fitz asked.

"Of course. I wasn't suggesting we couldn't, I just think it should be addressed."

"And I agreed."

Fitz's temper was uncharacteristically short.

"What aren't you telling me?" Olivia asked.

He sighed again. "Why do you always know?"

"Because I know you. Come on Fitz, what is it?"

"The friend of a friend is a nurse at the hospital, who also leaked that you had a miscarriage. The network has promised not to ask about it today, but it's out there."

Olivia's face was overcome with shock. She couldn't believe it.

"This is why I wanted to wait to tell you."

"Come on, Fitz. My answers to questions to change now. If I go on TV and talk about how this is the happiest moment of my life without recognizing the interesting journey it took to get here, I seem cold. Or like I'm hiding something. This information falls into the category of things I need to know."

"You're right. Okay? You're right. But I'm angry. We have to do this, but I'm angry. This is still our life."

She took one of his hands and placed it on her stomach.

"Fitz 4 and Fitz 5. Just remember. This ends with us having two babies."

He laughed. "Stop calling them that. It's atrocious."

"But you're less angry, right?"

"I am. And I love you. Let's do this."

"Yes, let's." Lindsay tossed her some lipstick, and shortly after the interview began.

Of course, Olivia brought up the miscarriage on her own. She didn't want the information spun, or misinterpreted. She wanted to handle it and manage it herself. That was her instinct. She was graceful and grateful. Fitz appeared as genuinely happy as any father-to-be could be. The public responded as if someone in Britain's royal family were having a baby, and Cyrus decided Olivia's pregnancy was the best thing that had happened to the campaign since it started.

Olivia's aching back and feet disagreed. She was a petite woman, and two babies took up a lot of room. As they grew, as her stomach grew, she became increasingly uncomfortable. Fortunately, the twins kept growing, and her pregnancy remained complication-free. Still, she kept her notebook. She was becoming more and more forgetful, and she wanted to be able to speak knowledgeably to doctors if necessary.

Cyrus had a discussion about privacy with the staff, and Fitz and Olivia personally spoke to Greg and Mellie. They felt terrible. But Olivia assured them, truthfully, that she was happy to just have it out there, rather than be surprised about in the upcoming year and a half before the election.

By July, the heat slowed down Olivia's every movement. Even in northern California, it was warm. She still drove herself to work, and walked the dogs, and tried to live as normal a life as possible. But everything was getting more difficult. She walked in from a walk and was refilling the water bowls for the Tock and Bodger when Fitz walked in.

"You're home early!" she said, unable to mask her delight.

"Yes. I have a surprise."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. Pack your suitcase, I'll pack for the dogs, we're going to Tahoe."

"What? Now?" They hadn't spent a lot of time at Fitz's house in Tahoe. And he was supposed to go to Washington until the summer recess.

"Yes. Early anniversary getaway. There will be a cook. There will be massages. There will be swimming."

"You had me at cook," she said.

An hour later, they were on their way to Lake Tahoe. It was about a four hour drive. They listened to an audiobook, talked, or really argued, about baby names and headed for a weekend of relaxation.


	6. Chapter 6

Fitz had somehow made room for himself on the padded lounge chair where Olivia was sitting and watching the water.

"Why would I sit alone when I could lay with my beautiful wife?" he asked, shifting, trying to stop the arm of the chair from digging into his back.

Olivia laughed. "The more the merrier. You know, there were already three Grants on this chair," she said, rubbing her growing stomach.

"Exactly. What's one more?"

That had been their mantra. What's one more? Olivia found herself in a zen-like state about the prospect of welcoming two babies into the world. That was certainly improved by her lightened workload at Stanford and her Type A personality that was in planning mode. The nursery was designed and being prepared. Books were being read. Birth classes were being attended. Plans were being made for before, during and after the birth. Olivia, and Fitz, were doing all they could to be as ready as possible. That meant that during the times she wasn't preparing, she felt as though there wasn't anything else she could be doing. That feeling was a first for Olivia. She had to admit that she was enjoying it. She was tired. She was nervous. But she was content.

Before Fitz had joined her on the lounge chair, she had been reflecting on a conversation they had had earlier that morning about feeling the absence of their families. They were surrounded by love, their own love and the love of their friends. But for the first time in years, Olivia had shared with Fitz earlier, she was thinking of her mother daily. Multiple times each day, she found herself wondering how her mother would advise her. Breastfeeding. Cribs. Strollers. Working and parenting. Aches and pains. In this time of utter contentment, Olivia missed her mother more than she had in years. Though she had made friends, and Fitz had as well, they both missed their parents deeply.

Fitz had told a story about his dad interacting with children on the campaign trail. He would also bend down to speak to them on their level, laugh extra loudly at their jokes and really listen to what they had to say. He was always going to be sorry that his children wouldn't know his father. Just as Olivia would always wish they would know her parents. But, as Fitz had said, they would work hard to surround their children with love, with meaningful experiences to fill the spaces usually reserved for grandparents.

Two hours later, the pair was awoken by their dogs, asking to be let out into the yard that led to the beach on the north shore of Lake Tahoe. It was an absolutely incredible home and yard, on what Olivia figured was the clearest lake in all of the world. The water was like a mirror, and as the lake was surrounded my mountains, snow-topped even in the summer, the reflection on the water was gorgeous. Olivia took a deep breath as she stood and stretched and watched Fitz run around the yard with the dogs. She had said it before, but she knew he was going to be a wonderful father. She took off her sandals and joined him on the grass. He was throwing sticks into the water and laughing as the dogs wrestled and splashed.

"You know, I couldn't do this with anyone else," she said.

"This place is special. I'm so glad to have it. I could live here year round if it made sense."

"I didn't mean be here, though it's true I couldn't do it with anyone else. I meant have children. I never thought I'd be here," she said, motioning to her stomach. "But now that I am, it just seems so natural. So right. And it wouldn't feel that way unless it was with you."

"Livi, where's this sentimentality coming from?" he asked, throwing the stick again, wiping his hands on his khaki shorts and then putting his arms around her waist.

"This place. It's so serene. It's so perfect. It gives me space to clear my head and have spectacular moments of clarity. Like the water."

"I knew when I first met you that you would love it here, for that very reason," he said, kissing her forehead. "And guess what? I never thought I would have children. I didn't even know I needed them until the idea of having little Olivia and Fitz mixes, hopefully mostly you, running around seemed to be something couldn't live without. You're giving me, us, such a gift. I'm so excited," he said, smiling.

"I hope you know that I'm doing this assuming that we'll be living with 24 hour help starting in January 2013," she said, obviously joking.

"Oh yeah. Nannies. Hand-holders. We'll have our kids make appointments to see us. Photo ops. That'll be the life."

This was a joke that had started among them after Cyrus had suggested starting the vetting process for a nanny for the twins for the campaign trail. Olivia adamantly opposed it. Fitz was with her, and supported her desire to do as much as she could alone, though soon he felt like he would have to start preparing her for the possibility that she might need help. But he knew it wasn't a battle that needed to be fought now.

"I'm going to wade in a bit. Care to join me?" Olivia asked.

They spent the rest of the day lounging. They got side-by-side massages in the house while someone took the dogs to a day camp for a day of play. A private chef cooked a delicious meal that they enjoyed on the deck at sunset. It was a day for the memory books.

Later, Fitz was rubbing Olivia's feet as they rested on the oversized white couches in the living room. There had been a lot of wooden furniture in the house, and new plush, lighter pieces were the only change Olivia had suggested after seeing it for the first time.

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia asked.

"No," Fitz said, laughing and tickling her feet.

She kicked him lightly in the arm.

"I'm serious. It's about what we talked about earlier. The nanny thing. I've been thinking a little bit, and if I want to keep working, I don't know what our options will be other than either day care or a nanny."

Fitz didn't say anything.

"So?" Olivia prodded.

"Was that a question? Sounded like a thought to me," he said.

"Fitzgerald Grant, you are mocking your pregnant wife! If I could make you pay, I would," she said, this time tossing a pillow.

"I'm sorry. I'm taking advantage of you. I agree, those are the options. If you want to work, those are the options."

"Right."

She looked at him.

"Do you want to work?" he asked.

"In theory, I want to work."

"And in practice," he said, starting the sentence for her.

"In practice, I don't know what that looks like. I see the kids in the morning, when I get home, and during the night? That doesn't seem like enough. But if I don't work, will that be enough? And from a candidate's perspective, if I work, am I leaving the development of my children in the hands of someone else? If I don't work, am I anti-feminist?"

They both realized in that moment that Olivia had left her zen-like state and was having a moment of Olivianess. She took a deep breath, as did Fitz before he responded.

"Here's the thing, Livi. No matter what you do, somebody is going to have something to say about it. You just laid out the scenarios. So as frustrating it is for you to have this be my response, here it is: you have to do what you think is best. For you, and for the kids."

"But," she started.

"But nothing."

"Fitz, it is not that simple."

"It has to be, or I'm dropping out of the race."

"Stop it," she said. "You're being ridiculous."

"I'm being real. We cannot, no, I will not allow us, to make decisions about the lives of our children because of what it might mean in the political world. Call me an idealist. Call me naïve. I don't care. I won't do it. We will make a decision, and we will deal with the fallout. Period."

"Do you understand the fallout could be huge? I was already a liability before. Another mistake on my part, and you're done. This is your last chance."

"Staying home or working, those aren't mistakes, Livi. Those are choices. You will make an informed choice, and maybe you'll change your mind, but you'll do it and we'll deal with it."

"Fitz, your level of support is heartwarming, it is, but I just feel like," she began.

"Stop!" he said, louder than he had intended. "It's not a discussion. You mean everything to me. You, our family, you are everything. If that means I can't be President, so be it. And honestly, I think you're underestimating the American people. I think you will be a revelation as a mother and a leader for moms and women alike."

"You make me sound so callous," she said.

"No, I just think you're thinking like a campaign staffer. You need to start thinking like a wife and a mother."

He did not mean for this to be a critical comment. It was simply him trying to explain what he was thinking. But Olivia's eyes immediately welled up with tears.

"Livi, no, you are a wife and mother. You are," he said.

"I just don't think like one?" she said, starting to stand up.

He jumped up to block her.

"Look, I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Think about what our house looks like. Think about all you have to done to get ready for the twins. Think about how much you love them already. It's not that you don't think like a wife and a mother. It's that you don't allow yourself to be only that. You're overthinking this. You have to trust me, just like I trust you to make the decision that is best for you."

He brought his forehead to hers and grabbed her hands.

"That was not nice of me. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to insinuate anything at all."

"I know," she said, and she did. She was just emotional, and unsure of what to do.

"And I mean it, I have full faith in you. We'll make this decision together, and you'll feel it out, and we'll adjust if we need to, and it is someone else's job to deal with whatever might follow."

She sighed. "Thank you."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

"Bed?" he asked.

"Yes, please."

He lifted her up, cradling her like a baby.

"Put me down! I'm a million and one pounds. You're holding three Grants right now and there are two flights of stairs in between us and our bed."

"Stop wiggling. This is happening," he said laughing.

The next day was full of more of the same. They swam in the morning, ate lunch by the pool and walked the dogs around the property. Fitz felt one of the babies kick, and seeing the look on his face when he did brought everything back into perspective for Olivia. It really was about their family first and the presidency second. She still was very unsure of what to do. She made a mental note to schedule a meeting with her boss at Stanford, then went back to committing Fitz's face – full of anticipation and wonder – to memory.

On the date of their actual anniversary, Fitz was in Washington. He had offered numerous times to change his schedule, but with Olivia's pregnancy progressing typically, she assured him that he should travel now, while she was still a few months from delivery and able to function alone. She knew that window of opportunity was growing smaller. Her stomach, on the other hand, was growing larger. When she walked, or waddled, up to the porch after work on July 28, she found the largest, most beautiful bouquet of flowers she had ever seen. It was ivory roses, filled with yellow, peach and pink accents. Just like their wedding. She opened the card after setting the huge vase on the counter.

**To my wife,**  
**The 4****th**** anniversary is flowers and fruit. Check the backyard for part two. I love you, and our children, more than anything. See you tomorrow. Happy anniversary.**  
**Fitz**

She had sent Fitz custom-made silver cuff links in the shape of a cherry blossom. She thought it was fitting given the year of their anniversary and their hope for seeing the cherry blossoms in Washington in the future. She walked to the backyard and found that someone had come during the day and planted lemon and lime trees. There was a small plaque resting underneath one. She struggled to bend over and grab, but on the second try managed to do so.

**"7/27/11. We love you, Mom. Tock, Bodgey, and Baby & Baby."**

She pulled her phone out of her pocket. Fitz answered on the first ring.

"Hi," he said.

"Baby and baby?" she asked.

He laughed. "I was hoping you would find it funny. We can look back and remember how long it took us to agree on names. I was not writing Fitz 4 and Fitz 5."

"You're right. These gifts are amazing, Fitz. Thank you. Happy anniversary, baby."

"Happy anniversary. Thank you for the cuff links. I'm going to consider them my lucky ones from now on."

"They haven't gotten you anything yet."

"They're from you. That's all the luck I need."

She sighed. "Fitz, you're too nice to me. Except for when you're not."

He laughed loudly, that real laugh. "That's why this works, Livi."

"It does work. Early flight tomorrow?"

"Yes. Thursday morning, hoping to beat a lot of the business travelers. I have a party thing tonight, I know Reston's wife will be so sad when she finds out you couldn't make it."

"Yes. She will be distraught," Olivia said in a deadpan that made Fitz laugh again.

"I'll see you tomorrow night. But I'll call you later. Love you."

"Love you too," Olivia said, and then she put her phone in her pocket, brushed off the plaque and set it down by the tree. Mom. She was a mom. Even though the babies weren't born yet, she was their mother. It would be her greatest challenge and responsibility. She knew that. But she knew she had the only partner in life who could help her through it, and that their children would be, if nothing else, loved beyond measure. She could give them that. She and Fitz together would give them that. That is, once they could agree on what to call them.


	7. Chapter 7

Olivia spent much of August and September making as many public appearances as she could. She attended functions with Fitz in Washington until her doctor advised her to stop flying in early September. She hosted gatherings at their home. She appeared on talk shows that taped in Los Angeles in person, and gave interviews remotely from their home when necessary. Part of the strategy was to keep her visible while reminding the public that she was expecting twins and, as any new mother would hope for, would be privately welcoming them and growing into her role as a mother after their birth.

By the end of October, Olivia had met numerous times with her team at Stanford. A plan was in place for her to return to work in March on a part-time basis, assuming the twins were born early or on time. It was a good plan. Olivia felt like it was a compromise. She would still have to hire someone to help, but would see her children what she hoped would be enough but also remain part of the professional world. In her mind though, in places she only shared with Fitz, she wondered if it was possible It would be in the busiest time of his campaign. Assuming he was still in the campaign. She truly wasn't sure how it all would work, but since she wouldn't know until it happened, she just made a plan she was comfortable with and then, following Fitz's advice, agreed that it could be changed if necessary.

By November, Olivia felt like a whale. Her doctor's appointment at the beginning of the month showed the twins measuring typically, and she was hoping to make it to at least 37 weeks and have as normal a delivery as possible. She had to cut back on work significantly, because she could no longer drive herself home at the end of the day with her swollen feet. As she boarded the commuter train back to San Francisco one evening, she was stopped by a group of college students who asked to have their photograph taken with her. It appeared on social media outlets almost immediately, and soon she had a message from Fitz.

**It's my birthday. You're spending it on a train platform with co-eds? You look stunning.**  
**Fitz**

She smiled and replied.

**Stunning? You should get your eyes checked, old man. On my way.**  
**Livi**

**42 is going to be a good year.**  
**Fitz**

**You're right. Happy birthday. I love you.**  
**Livi**

They went out for dinner at the same Italian restaurant where Fitz had turned 35. It was meaningful to them, sure, but the food was also delicious and Olivia was famished. He opened his present, which was a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and man-friendly diaper bag. It was leather with waterproof lining. Olivia had had it custom made for Fitz after looking around and not seeing anything that would suit him.

"Livi, this is fantastic. Thank you. But the headphones?" he asked.

"Well, there will be some nights when you need to sleep more than me. I thought for the bus or the plane, too."

"Thank you. You're thinking of everything."

"Happy birthday, baby," she said, trying to lean across the table but finding it impossible given the size of her midsection. He laughed, stood, and came around and knelt down beside her.

"I meant what I said earlier, I think this will be our best year yet. Thanks for everything," he whispered, kissing her softly on the cheek.

Just then, they both saw a flash to Olivia's left. It was a photographer outside of the restaurant, taking their photograph through the window. They had a small security team with them, as most candidates and senators did at this point, but clearly this photographer had eluded the team. Olivia sensed Fitz immediately tense up. She put her hand on his arm, not his face so as not to allow for another private moment to be photographed.

"It's fine, they'll deal with it, let's have dessert."

He breathed in and out once. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The photo ran in a gossip magazine at the end of the week with the caption: "Senator Grant and his wife Olivia celebrating his birthday dinner in San Fran. She's about to pop!" Olivia and Fitz laughed over breakfast.

"I mean, the caption is correct," she said, munching on toast.

"Sure, give them that," he said, still grumbling a bit over the breach of privacy.

"We have to get used to this. You're running for president. Like it or not, people will take our photo. They'll want a photo of the kids badly. It's in our best interest to control the message. We'll take a family photo and release it, then request privacy. I'll go to the store with them after a couple of months with security, and release it. We can manage this."

"I wish we didn't have to," he said.

"No you don't. You want to be the leader of the free world. It goes with the territory."

"You're ruthless, you know that?"

"I've been told I have a mind for this, you know," she said smiling.

"I do know. I'm glad you aren't my opponent. And I'm glad we're about to be a team of 4, six if you include canines," he said.

"I know. It's happening," she said.

"It is happening," he said, sauntering over to her and putting his hands on her stomach. "I love you all so much," he said, kissing her deeply.

"I wish you didn't have to go," she said, putting our her lower lip.

"It's just a dinner. I'll be back in three hours. Call my cell if you need me."

Olivia spent the first part of her Saturday evening talking to Abby on the phone. They hadn't had a lot of time to talk, and it was nice to catch up. Then she turned on a cable television network and watched a reality show marathon about fashion designers. The first pain in her side didn't surprise her. She had been feeling false contractions for a couple of weeks. But the second jab, and the third, those alarmed her. They felt different. They didn't match any of the other pain she had described in her secret notebook. She sat up and turned off the television, waiting. The dogs both sat up too, looking at her expectantly. She had the right mind to let them out, and she made her way to the doorwall and watched them do their business as she doubled over with pain. The dogs, sensing the urgency, returned quickly and followed her to the kitchen where she found her cell phone. She called Fitz.

"Livi? About to leave. What's up?"

"It's time."

"Oh my god. Okay. Did you let the dogs out?"

She laughed hysterically, then gritted her teeth to manage the wave of pain.

"I did. Now I think I should take care of myself and the little humans."

"Okay, I'm closer to the hospital. I'm hanging up and calling Harrison. Wait by the door. If it gets to be an emergency, call 911. Livi? Okay?"

"We're fine. I'll be ready."

Their plan went into action. Fitz called Harrison, who immediately left to drive Olivia to the hospital. Abby called the place that boarded Olivia and Fitz's pets and told them to expect them shortly, then picked up the dogs and their bags and dropped them before heading to the hospital. On her way, she called Cyrus and Lindsay. Fitz had texted Greg. So far, the plan had worked seamlessly.

Fitz was waiting outside the door of the hospital when Harrison and Olivia pulled up. He had a wheelchair and a doctor with him. He opened the car door and immediately starting observing Olivia's face, her actions. She seemed okay, and so he exhaled for what felt like the first time in the fifteen minutes since he had arrived at the hospital.

He helped her out of the car. Harrison came around carrying the two bags that had been packed near the door for a month.

"Harrison," Fitz said, shaking his hand. "Can't thank you enough."

"Of course, Senator. Happy I could help."

"Will you ever call me Fitz?"

"Probably not."

They all laughed, even Olivia. Fitz helped her to the wheel chair, grabbed the bags from Harrison, and they all walked inside. Once on the labor and delivery floor, Harrison headed to the waiting room. It was agreed that he and Abby would wait until there was word about the progress, and then decide if they would stay or go. It was already 10:30pm. He didn't particularly want to spend the night in a hospital waiting room, but he knew Abby would want to be here if the babies were born soon.

"Harrison," Olivia said, as she was turned toward her room. He looked back.

"Thanks, friend," she said, smiling.

He nodded, and then Olivia, Fitz and the doctor headed down the hall toward the room where they would prepare to welcome the new Grants to the world.

An hour later, Olivia had been examined and she was definitely in labor. It was, indeed, happening. From what the doctor thought, it could be anywhere from 1-12 hours, probably less given that there were two babies. After Olivia was settled, she asked for Abby and Harrison, and then told them to go home. She promised Fitz would text as soon as the babies were here. Truly, she was grateful for their help. But, it was going to be a waiting game, and she only wanted to wait with Fitz.

They watched Saturday Night Live as she made her way through contractions. Fitz held her hand, gave her a cold towel for her head, and just sat quietly and watched her do the hard work necessary to safely deliver their precious children into the world. By 2am, she was nearly fully dilated and the doctor and a team of nurses prepared the room for delivery. Fitz left and reentered wearing scrubs over his clothes. He gave Olivia a wink as he made his way around the group of medical professionals and back to her side.

"You're handsome," she said.

"You're beautiful," he replied.

She shook her head, and then squeezed his hand tightly as another wave of pain overtook her. It was in this moment, with her eyes squeezed shut and the pain overwhelming her that she stopped hearing the counting, the beeping, the voices and found herself in a singular moment of quietness inside her head. She saw her mother's smile. He father's hands. Fitz's face in the parking lot when he first told her he loved her. She exhaled, opened her eyes, and everyone in the room saw a look of determination come over her. She was ready. She had who she needed, some with her in the room, others with her in her heart.

35 minutes later, it was over. Well, the worst was over. Olivia had one baby, a girl, resting on her chest. Fitz was old another baby, a boy, very close to her so she could take a look. Olivia's eyes filled with tears.

"Guys, say hello to the best mommy in the world. You're so lucky to have her," Fitz whispered.

"Hi," Olivia said to each baby, touching their heads softly and inhaling their scent. They were so warm. Their skin was the color silky caramel and they both had dark hair. The girl's lips were full, closed and she was looking around wide-eyed. The boy's face seemed a little more chiseled, if that was possible for a three-minute old person, and he was crying. It was a good cry. Healthy. His father, Fitz, her magnificent partner, was also crying. He handed his son to the nurse who wanted to swaddle him and check him out, but Olivia held onto their daughter for one extra minute.

"I love you so much," she whispered, kissing the baby's forehead before allowing the nurse to take her to the other side of the room.

She turned her head to look at Fitz, who's eyes were filled with tears.

"Hi Daddy," she said, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

"Livi, thank you. I'm just, I'm so happy. You did so good."

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"What do you need?" he asked.

"Just to lay here for a minute. Then I need those babies."

He smiled. "Me too."

They just looked at each other, both in awe of what had just occurred.

"You know," he said, "they're going to ask us about the names soon."

"They are. Are we agreed?" she asked.

"We can be. If you agree to the nickname, and the absolute intolerance for any number or juniors following the name of our son, then yes, we can be agreed."

She nodded. He smiled, pulled up a chair, and they sat for one minute. Relishing the moment. Waiting to hold their babies. Hoping this feeling of wonder and happiness would stay forever.

* * *

An hour later, a group e-mail went out to Abby, Harrison, Lindsay, Jesse, Cyrus, James, Greg, Mellie and Eleanor.

**All,**  
**Olivia and I would like to introduce you, our closest friends, our family, to our beautiful children.**  
**Caroline Maeve Grant, born at 2:18am, 5 lbs., 9 oz. and Fitzgerald Thomas Grant, born at 2:22am, 5 lbs. 12 oz.**  
**November 20, 2011 has been the best day of our lives to date, even though it's a mere four hours old.**  
**Both babies and their brave and equally elegant mother Olivia are healthy and happy. We are overcome with joy, and thank you all so much for helping us get here.**  
**Cyrus – remember the plan.**  
**All are welcome for visits in the morning!**  
**Love to all.**  
**Fitz**


	8. Chapter 8

"Tommy's down," Olivia said, returning to the family room. She observed the scene.

Fitz was standing near the fireplace, humming the lyrics to "Signed, Sealed, Delivered," to Caroline, or Carly, as she had started to be called. Not by choice, given that she had just turned one-month old. But as Fitz had allowed for their boy to share his name only if the nickname was different, and of course did not include "Junior" or "the fourth," Carly just seemed to fit with Tommy. And Olivia loved Tommy, because she knew it was the name Fitz's mother had used for him.

"She's almost there," Fitz said, finishing his song and then nodding at Olivia as he made his way down the hall to the nursery.

They were still working to get the twins on the same nap schedule. Fitz had taken most of the month of December off, but was home now through the rest of the year before the campaign began in earnest right after the new year.

Olivia was laying on the couch with her knees up to her chest under a blanket when Fitz returned to the family room.

"That didn't take long," he said, laughing softly.

"If they're resting, I'm resting," she said, opening up the blanket and welcoming him to join her.

They cuddled under the blanket and dozed on the couch for thirty minutes before hearing some small whimpers coming from the nursery.

"Carly?" Fitz said, his eyes still closed.

"Sounds like it. That girl just won't sleep," Olivia said, starting to get up.

"I got it, Livi. You stay here."

She nodded and smiled, keeping her eyes closed. "I love you."

"I know, especially right now," he said, making his way down the hall.

Olivia grabbed the video monitor off of the coffee table and watched as Fitz entered the nursery and put his hand softly on Carly's tummy. He rubbed it and spoke softly to her, in a whisper. She hiccupped a few times, then closed her eyes and fell back to sleep.

"You," she said, standing as he returned, "are the best dad and husband in the world," she said, putting her arms around his neck.

"I'm learning from you," he said, resting his chin on her head.

She leaned back in his arms. "Shower?"

"Let's try it," he said, taking two quick steps to grab the monitor and then tip-toe running down the hall behind her.

They had fifteen minutes of bliss in the shower, but it was enough to help them get through the rest of the day. This was a good representation of their lives now. When they were home together, it as a tag-team effort, and they were learning how to be parents together. They took turns getting up in the middle of the night. Olivia was having success breastfeeding but Fitz often fed the twins a bottle during the feeding right before dawn. Olivia had enjoyed the last month. But she knew that life as she knew it was about to change significantly, just as she was started to feel mildly competent as a parent. When Fitz had had to go to Washington to attend a fundraiser and tie up some loose ends, and then when he had made an impromptu stop in Iowa on the way home, Olivia had found herself yearning for contact with another adult. Fitz would be her first choice, always, but she also almost immediately began the interview process for a full-time nanny that would help once the campaign started.

Olivia had interviewed a number of candidates. The job was particularly unique in that it would require someone to travel as soon as the twins were able, to be available around the clock and to have the energy to care for two babies. Olivia would help, but there would be times when she was required to attend a campaign event, and so a nanny would be critical.

Olivia wished Eleanor could stay forever. She had come when the babies had been a week old, and was scheduled to depart the day before Christmas. She was, for all intents and purposes, serving as a maternal model for Olivia. Some of she found herself doing was absolutely instinct. Olivia could feel in her bones when one of her children needed her. But Eleanor had tricks up her sleeve that could only come from the experience of having taken care of children. Though Eleanor didn't have children of her own, she had helped her widowed sister raise two children, and had spent her adult life taking care of adults. She was kind. She understood. Most of all, she had a patience about her that Olivia envied and tried to emulate whenever possible.

Olivia and Fitz knew Eleanor wasn't a long term solution. But Olivia brought in potential candidates while Eleanor was there to get her opinion on who might be the best fit with Olivia, but more importantly Tommy and Carly.

Olivia closed the door quietly behind Jillian, the candidate who had spent the day at the Grant home.

"Well?" Olivia asked hopefully. She had liked Jillian more than any of the other people she had interviewed. She was young, with a recently obtained early childhood education degree from a small college in California. She was looking for a one year position, as her boyfriend was deployed to the Middle East and she knew she would want to relocate once he returned. She had spent a lot of the day with Carly, holding her, feeding her bottles. She had asked the right questions: the Grants' philosophy on parenting, the kind of work she would be expected to do, the expectations Olivia and Fitz had in a caregiver.

"She was fantastic," Eleanor said, and Olivia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Really? You aren't just saying that because you see how exhausted this whole process has made me?"

"She was gentle, quiet but confident. It seems like you guys would get along," Eleanor said as Olivia joined her at the kitchen table and began helping her fold the laundry.

Olivia put down a bib. "Do I seem confident? I'm not feeling that way."

Eleanor reached over and put her hand on top of Olivia's.

"You have been a mother for four weeks. You're doing splendidly. Your own mother would be proud, just like I am."

Olivia sighed. She hoped Eleanor was right.

She thought of that conversation as she stood in the shower that night. The confident part of her, the part that knew she had figured out many things on her own, knew she was doing just fine as a mom. But the part that had spent many years alone, and could barely remember her mother actually mothering, wondered how she would make it through the next 18 years alone. And of course, she wasn't alone. She had Fitz and a wonderful support system. But there were times when she still felt alone, and she figured that just came with the territory.

When she emerged into the bedroom, she found Fitz reading his iPad, already in bed.

"Haven't heard a peep in fifteen," he said.

"Great," she said, running her fingers through her wet hair. That was all the treatment it was going to get tonight.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Of course," she said, crawling under the covers. "I have an idea, though."

He set his iPad down and faced her. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it's kind of revolutionary, I'm not sure if we can handle it."

He smiled.

"Before we fall asleep, for five minutes, let's talk about something other than Carly, Tommy or the campaign. Ready, go."

He laughed his baritone laugh, and she covered his mouth as she giggled and hoped the kids wouldn't wake up at the sound of their dad's amazing laugh. He pulled her toward him.

"That episode of House Hunters in Bali was pretty special," he said into her ear.

She smiled into his neck. "It was. I liked the second house the best. The privacy."

"Totally. Not sure why you'd pay for the ocean view when you could walk to it in under five minutes."

"True," she said, "though the view was nice."

"You just said you liked the second one. I'm agreeing with you!"

"I know. But I can see the pluses and minuses to each."

"You're just trying to stay awake," he said, kissing her neck.

"Not true! Each house was wonderful in its own ways," she said, snuggling up to him. "Not as comfortable as ours, but wonderful."

"Can you imagine living in a place without doors and windows?" he asked.

"Not really. Can you?"

"No. But those shows and movies always make it seem pretty spectacular."

"But what about the bug bites?" she asked.

"Yes. Very logical point. The bugs would have to be considered."

"Hmmm," she said. "Lots of spray. Or those smelly candles."

Fitz smiled. She was already falling asleep. He glanced at the clock over his shoulder. They had made it less than three minutes. But she was in his arms, and that made him happy. But was she concerned that the babies were taking over their lives? He would have to ask her. Just as soon as he got some sleep himself.

Two important things happened on Christmas Eve. First, Fitz, Olivia and the twins dropped Eleanor at the airport. Call it hormones, call it love, but Olivia was distraught. She cried quietly into Eleanor's shoulder while they embraced and Fitz stood on the curb. Eleanor had just leaned into the backseat and whispered into each twin's ear. She touched their cheeks and wished them a happy Christmas. She said she loved them.

"Olivia, you can do this. I just told each of those precious babies that they are lucky to have you. Call me whenever you need to, but it's time for you to start believing in yourself the way I do. The way we do," she said, motioning for Fitz to join them.

"The triple hug. My favorite," Fitz said.

Olivia sniffled and looked at Eleanor.

"As always, there's nothing I could say or do to express the extent of my gratitude," she said.

"Perhaps the pile of tears on her shoulders helps?" Fitz said.

"Fitzgerald, your wife is emotional. You shut your mouth," Eleanor said, hugging him one more time. "I wish your father could see this. You. But he would be thrilled at the sight. I love you," she said.

"And we love you," Fitz said.

Eleanor put her hands on Olivia's cheeks. "Deep breaths. Remember who you are. Keep this one in line," she said, nodding at Fitz. "You'll be fine."

"Thank you," Olivia said. "Please call us when you land."

"Of course," she said. "Tell those babies Aunt Ellie misses them already. I'll see you on Super Tuesday." She winked, blew a kiss and then headed through the sliding airport doors.

Super Tuesday was March 6, and it was hoped that not only would Fitz still be in the race for president, that it would be a very busy day for him. Eleanor was scheduled to visit them in whatever state they would land, as both a visit and to help watch the twins. Olivia hoped it would be with Jillian. She was planning to offer her the job the day after Christmas.

The second thing that happened on Christmas Eve was the release of the first official photograph of the Grant family. It had been taken the previous week, by Eleanor. Olivia and Fitz were each wearing fabulous jackets: Fitz the trench Olivia had purchased for his birthday, Olivia a white military style trench, and the twins were wearing outfits that coordinated but didn't match. Carly was in a red and white striped cable-knit onesie with a matching hat. Tommy was wearing a white onesie with an anchor on it, blue fleece pants and red scarf. Olivia held Tommy, Fitz held Carly, and Bodger and Tock sat proudly in front of the family that was seated on a bench on the deck, with the bay in the background. It was a lovely photo. Not too professional, not retouched at all, but it exuded love. And family. The photograph was released by Jesse and the rest of the media team on the campaign's website, along with a brief statement from the Grants wishing all a wonderful holiday.

The photograph was on every magazine and newspaper site, and Twitter and other social media outlets, within minutes. Most of the reaction was positive. "Look at those babies!" or "What a beautiful family." Some of the reaction was not as positive. There were still people who thought that Fitz should be married to a white woman, or an older woman. Or some who thought that though the family was lovely, it would be a distraction to his campaign and presidency. Despite Fitz's protests, Olivia had asked Lindsay to send her a summary of the comments and she read them over Christmas Eve dinner.

"I mean, it's what we expected," Fitz said, finishing his bacon. It was breakfast for dinner, as it had been ever since they were married.

"It is. I don't know why it still disappoints me."

"Because you're Olivia Pope. Grant. And you have worked tirelessly and given a lot, and usually those things are rewarded rather than criticized. But this is politics."

"It is. But we agree that we don't need to make a statement?"

"Absolutely. That photo of our family is statement enough. We'll, I'll, deal with the questions soon enough. Nothing to be done tonight," he said, trying to grab a piece of sausage from her plate.

"No way, Senator!" she said.

"Stop reading those comments and start eating or it's fair game," he said, smiling.

"Fine," she said, spearing the sausage and taking a bite.

"Breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve with my wife and family while talking strategy for a presidential election. Dad," Fitz said, looking up, "hope you're happy."

Olivia swallowed and then grabbed his hand. "He is. Aren't you?"

"Never been happier," he said, pulling her onto his lap.

She straddled him, her legs hanging around the back of the chair. She ran her hands through his hair, wiped some crumbs off of his cheek, and kissed his forehead.

"Never?" she said, kissing him behind his ear.

"I mean, generally," he said, starting to squirm, grabbing her things and pulling her as close to him as possible on the chair.

"Are you done eating dinner, Senator?" she asked, kissing behind his other ear.

"Done with dinner, yes," he said, kissing her neck.

She leaned back as he unbuttoned as much of her sweater as he could, but it only had three at the collar and left him wanting more. He put his hands under her shirt and ran them up and down her back. He head rolled back and she moaned quietly. In one swift movement he was standing and carrying her to the bedroom.

"Fitz, wait, the babies," she said.

He was standing in the hallway.

"Our room is so close to theirs," she said, giggling.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked, growled.

"The counter?"

He raised an eyebrow and then turned back toward the kitchen. He pushed some mail and a newspaper to the ground and set Olivia on the counter.

"How'd I get so lucky?" he asked as he helped her remove her shirt.

"To have a wife this classy? I don't know. You should definitely mention this when you have to explain to people that I'm capable of being First Lady."

"I'm not dignifying that comment right now. Get over here," he said, sliding her to the edge and removing her pajama pants and underwear in almost one movement.

He was on his knees and giving her such immense pleasure in such a short amount of time that Olivia wondered if it was like this for every couple in love. Before she could totally climax, she ran her hand through his hair and lifted his face and pleaded with her eyes for him to be inside of her. He complied. She cried out softly with each thrust, the loudest she had been in the three or four times they had made love since the babies had been born. Just the small noises was enough to send Fitz to his climax sooner than usual, as she had been so quiet in their bedroom and hearing her cry out for him, even if it was just above a whisper, was almost more than he could handle. When they were both breathing normally again, he walked down the hall, with Olivia still straddling him, and walked straight into the shower. They washed each other, and held each other, and were just drying off when they heard one of their children begin crying. He started walking toward the door.

"I got him, Fitz" Olivia said.

"How can you tell it's Tommy?" he asked.

Olivia stopped at the door. It had just come out naturally. She smiled, a big, real smile. She felt rejuvenated. Surely the love-making session and shower had helped, but her absolute confidence that she was right boosted her esteem. She walked to Fitz, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then walked toward the door. She turned before heading to the nursery.

"I just can. I'm his mother."


	9. Chapter 9

Olivia left the twins alone for the first time on January 3, 2012. It was the day of the Iowa caucuses. The day that had been, four years ago, the final day of Fitz's campaign. She did not want to travel with them. They were too young, and too fragile, and it wasn't appropriate. But she did want to be there for Fitz. She left Tommy and Carly in the care of Mellie who had agreed to spend the evening there with Hannah. With the dogs, and with the babies being so young, Olivia just felt more comfortable having two people in the house, so Jillian was also going to spend the day. She had begun work on the 28th, as the sooner she started the better it was for everyone. Of course she wished it could have been Eleanor, but she wanted to give the woman a break. Eleanor was, of course, on the list of emergency contacts Olivia left with Jillian before her very early flight.

"Just call. If something happens while I'm mid-flight, call Cyrus who will get in touch with Fitz. If he's unreachable," Olivia said.

"I'll follow the tree. Olivia, I know you're nervous. It's one day and night, you'll be home before you know it. It will be hard. You will miss them terribly. I will try my best not to damage them while you're gone."

Olivia made a face. Mellie's jokes weren't always that funny.

"Kidding. Liv. I've got Hannah to entertain them, Jillian will be here during the day, and I have a cell phone. I promise, we'll take good care of them."

"Thanks, Mellie. I appreciate it. Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

"I do. I think your presence will help Fitz, and I think it will reassure America that new parents are viable candidates."

Olivia exhaled. She kissed the twins, who were both laying on their backs on a blanket in the family room, whispered in their ears what she always did before leaving them even for a moment, thanked Mellie again and then headed to the waiting car.

Olivia was in Iowa by 10am. The car dropped her at the hotel, where Fitz was regrouping after an early morning coffee session with a group of caucus voters. He was just straightening his tie when she was escorted to his room by a staffer.

"Here," she said, handing him one she had purchased at a store the day after Christmas when she and Abby had braved the crowds at the mall.

"Every time, really?" he said, shaking his head but picking her up and kissing her. "I'm so glad you're here. How're you holding up?" he asked, studying her face.

"Terribly. Cried most of the way to the airport. I need to pump. I miss them. But I'm happy to see you."

"Well, you do your thing, I'll fix my tie and meet you in Cyrus' room. It's just next door."

"Sounds good," she said, opening her suitcase.

"And Livi?" he said, opening the hotel room door. She looked up.

"I miss them too. But they'll be fine."

She nodded. She knew he was right.

Twelve hours later, Fitz was giving a victory speech on the stage at small lodge in Iowa to the cheers of an excited and energized crowd. Olivia stood to his left and smiled. She was so happy for him. This was the first real step toward the White House and would bring a legitimacy to the campaign that had started later than it should have. They walked off the stage with the arms around each other.

"Let's go shake some hands, you up for it?" Fitz asked.

"Absolutely," she said. "And congratulations again, baby."

"I love you, Livi."

"I love you too."

They met with people in the crowd. Olivia answered questions about the babies, about motherhood, about her thoughts on service and mental health and women's rights. The people in Iowa lived up to their reputation of being informed, concerned citizens. But they were thrilled to see Olivia and Fitz, welcoming, and the time there invigorated both of the Grants.

Fitz was headed to New Hampshire and South Carolina, but he and Olivia shared a car with Cyrus on the way to the airport. From there, the campaign bus would be waiting to take them on the east coast campaign trail.

"So I'll see you on the 22nd," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Yes. We will all be waiting for you. Probably in the driveway," she said, and Cyrus laughed.

"It seems so long," Fitz said, looking out of the window.

"Because it is. But it's necessary. And soon, we'll be with you. It's just too soon for them to be traveling like that. We'll figure this out. We will," Olivia said, though she didn't quite believe it.

"Say it like you mean it," Fitz said. He knew her too well.

She sighed. "You'll be home on the 22nd. We'll celebrate my birthday. You'll head to Florida and then we'll make a new batch of plans. That's how this is going to work. That's what I know."

"I love you, Livi."

"I love you too."

"I love everyone!" Cyrus said, getting a laugh out of everyone in the car.

When they stepped out onto the curb at the airport, there were people waiting to get their autographs. Olivia found herself signing copies of their holiday photo. It felt odd. But she smiled and signed, as did Fitz, before they made their way inside.

Their flights were in different sections of the airport, so they had to say goodbye before going through security.

"Tell them their daddy misses them very much. I'll see them on Face Time tonight, right?"

"This afternoon, if you want," she said, kissing him lightly as people were watching.

"I love you, and them, more than anything. We'll make it through this. We will."

"Of course we will. And I love you too. Have a safe flight."

"You too, Livi."

They walked in opposite directions. Olivia toward her flight to San Francisco, and Fitz toward his to New Hampshire. It felt wrong to both of them. Wrong to be separated. Wrong for the babies to not be with their parents. But what could they do? They both felt like they had come up with the best option, and they were living it as best they could.

When Olivia walked into her home at noon, it was quiet except for the tapping of the dogs' nails as they greeted her. Mellie was sitting at the kitchen table with Hannah, and they were eating lunch. She made the "Shh" gesture and nodded toward the living room, where Jillian was sitting with a sleeping Carly.

Olivia waved to Jillian, then set her bags down and checked on Tommy in the nursery. He was sleeping soundly in his crib. Of course, Carly preferred to be held.

She took out her phone and sent a quick text to Fitz.

**Home. All in one piece. Carly being rocked to sleep, Tommy following rules. Miss you. Love you.  
Livi**

She had a response almost immediately.

**Tommy takes after me. Thx for the update.  
Fitz**

**Thx?  
Livi**

**Means "thanks."  
Fitz**

**I know, just surprised to see you using text slang. Works 4 me. LU.  
Livi**

**LU2. TTYL.  
Fitz**

She shook her head and smiled, then put her phone back into her pocket and walked back to the kitchen. She made herself a sandwich and joined Hannah and Mellie at the table while Jillian attempted to put Carly in her crib. Again, Olivia had a "this is your life" moment. She was going to need help, there was no way around it. With Fitz being gone, she was going to need help. And, she realized before having even attempted it, there was absolutely no way she was going to be able to go back to work.

Later, long after Jillian and Mellie had departed and as the twins slept for what would hopefully be a four hour stretch, Olivia detailed her thoughts to Fitz. He fully supported her, and agreed that the campaign was only going to get busier. He did, however, urge her to sleep on it. She said she would, but she knew. She could not be a mother, the wife of a leading presidential candidate and committed to her job. The fact that she could admit that to herself only confirmed it as fact for her.

She awoke the next morning and called Lindsay, who was still in California as not everyone who worked on the campaign was traveling to every stop. Lindsay was still her assistant despite having other responsibilities. She detailed her plan and together they worked on crafting a statement, which Lindsay then ran by Cyrus, and Fitz, who was not surprised at all when Cyrus entered his hotel room with the news. Everyone agreed the statement was fine. First, Olivia had to tell Stanford.

Stanford, to their credit, responded very well. Olivia had driven over and met with her bosses in person. They understood. They thanked her for her service. They agreed to call it a leave of absence. If Fitz were to lose the election, Olivia hoped the job would be waiting for. The next day, when the statement was released by Fitz's campaign, the mainstream media, particularly that which supported the party opposing him, had a field day, with Olivia as the kicking post. She was giving up on her professional career. Breaking promises. Unable to multitask. Were the babies okay? Was she having a breakdown? It was hard to watch. Olivia turned the television off midway through the morning and asked Lindsay to send her a summary in the evening. She spent the day with her children and her dogs, having given Jillian the day off. They all had a great day. The twins were almost in a routine. The dogs were their quirky selves. Olivia had a chance to read a chapter of a book. It hit her, as she closed the book when one of the babies stirred, that she had just effectively ended her career as a professional for the foreseeable future. She had known this, of course. But it sunk in then that she was now all in, literally. Every part of her was functioning for Fitz and their family. It was a bittersweet feeling.

Nobody thought she needed to comment on the media's response, but Fitz had to. And it didn't go well. He appeared standoffish and annoyed at the questions about his wife's personal and professional choices. Had she been there, she would have advised him to appear more compassionate. Maybe someone had and he just couldn't when it came to his family. But their argument later that night stemmed from her "hindsight advising" as Fitz had said.

"I was simply saying," she said as loudly as she could into the phone, "that you appeared cold. And that isn't you."

"It's dumb, the things they are saying are dumb," Fitz said, exasperated.

"Sure. But you said we would cross these bridges when we got to them. And they're here. We are on the bridge. I don't think this is the right way to go about it, to appear as if it isn't America's business. It kind of is if you're going to be their leader."

"You think I don't know that? Of course I know that. I just wasn't in the mood to discuss it."

"That's understandable. But it was an opportunity, and it was missed, and now an entire team of people is cleaning up because you weren't in the mood."

There was silence then.

"Jesus, Livi. You aren't running this campaign."

His words stung. "I know, I know, I was just talking," she began.

"You were just trying to run it. You don't. You can't. We are in this together, but I am the candidate."

She remained silent.

"I'm sorry. I just know I messed up, but I don't need you to remind me of it. That's all. You think Cyrus hasn't already said exactly what you said, except louder? It's hard enough without you here. I can't have our every conversation be a rehashing of the mistakes I make on any given day."

"Look, Fitz. I know. I hear you. I promise it won't be like this for the next ten months. But this is about me! I'm sorry if I need to rehash it, but this issue, this is me. If I can't talk to you about it, who should I talk to? I mean I talked to Carly, and she's a great listener, but she didn't reciprocate. She's not that advanced."

"This was your choice, Livi. If you are already missing contact with adults, maybe it was the wrong one."

"You are totally misunderstanding almost everything I say tonight! I'm content with my decision. But for you to be upset with me when I want to talk to you about your response to an issue that is directly related to me, I would love for you to suggest who I should talk to about it, other than you. Honestly. Who would you suggest?"

"What are we even arguing about?" he asked.

"The fact that you just told me I have no say over your campaign whatsoever and that you don't value my opinion about it."

"Now who's misunderstanding?" he said, his voice getting louder.

"Just summarizing. I hear your son. I should go."

"Livi," he said.

"I'll talk to you later." She hung up the phone and threw it on the bed. She put her face in her hands but did not cry. She did not hear Tommy, or Carly for that matter. She just needed the conversation to stop before it spiraled out of control. The following morning was the South Carolina primary, and the next day she would see Fitz. They would figure this out. She reached for her phone to call him back. It buzzed in her hand before she could begin dialing.

"Hi," she said, answering breathlessly despite not having moved.

"Hi," he said.

"I'm sorry. I was condescending and I overreacted. This is just a big deal and I was needing to talk to someone, no, to talk to you, about it. I wasn't trying to advise you."

"I'm sorry too. It's been a long day, but it's not your fault. This was always going to happen, at some point, and it happened sooner than we thought. I'm sorry I took out my frustration on you. You didn't deserve that."

"And you didn't totally mess it up. It'll get sorted out. I love you," she said.

"I love you too. There are going to be other times, you know," he began.

"Stop. I know. Let's go to bed. You're going to win South Carolina despite having a non-working wife and then you are going to walk through the doors to our home and hold us tight."

He sighed. "I cannot wait. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Night, Livi."

"Night."

Fitz did win South Carolina. He did so handily, and had now won the first three primaries of the election. By all accounts, he was on a roll. But the only thing he cared about was being on the first flight out of Charleston after the celebration rally in his honor. He had spoken with his assistant and she had him booked on a redeye through Atlanta, and he made it. He walked into his home just after dawn California time. Everyone was still asleep. Only Tock came to check on him, as he had been doing for almost a decade. He peeked in at his children, both sleeping soundly in their cribs. He left his shoes and his garment bag in the hallway and entered the bedroom, where Olivia and Bodger were sleeping on his side of the bed. He closed his eyes and took a mental photograph of the image. He removed all of his clothes except for his boxers, and then joined her in bed. She didn't wake immediately. He imagined she had been up watching results, and that was confirmed when he felt the iPad under the covers next to her. He moved it to her nightstand, then snuggled up to her.

"What, Fitz? What are you doing here?" she asked, rolling over, much to Bodger's dissatisfaction. He grunted and joined Tock on their beds on the floor.

"Got the first flight. Couldn't wait another moment. Happy early birthday, baby," he said, kissing her.

"Thank you," she said. "I can't believe you're here. I was just dreaming that we were on rocking chairs and the kids were riding a tractor lawn mower, but there was also a strawberry farm being tended to in the background."

"Go back to that," he said. "Have Carly make us some jam," he said.

"I love you," she said. "Thanks for coming home."

"I'll always come home. And part of me stays with you no matter what."

"Hmmm," she said, drifting back to sleep in his arms.

They both slept for a couple of hours until both children awoke. They took a walk around their neighborhood. Fitz was interviewed over the phone for some national newspapers, and he was honest with them and informed them and America that he was home in California and would be in Florida a day or two before the primary. He was with his young children and his wife, he said, his greatest sources of pride and joy. When pundits commented that he wasn't taking the campaign seriously, political allies countered that he was taking life seriously. All parts of it. The campaign mattered, of course, but so did his family. And at the end of the day, the one or two days Fitz stayed in California would not alter the course of the election. He was a concerned candidate, but also a doting father.

As they watched the news after going out for Olivia's birthday dinner, each holding a baby on their knees, they waited for what they had been told to watch for. Sally Langston was appearing on a nightly news program and was going to make an announcement. Cyrus had contacted all of his sources but had been unable to obtain a copy of the speech. What happened next surprised everyone.

"It is clear that Senator Grant is the clear choice to lead this party. Though we may not agree on all issues, what I see in him is a man who has the core values required to lead this great nation. He and his family are a model for us all. I am withdrawing my name from this race and endorsing Senator Grant."

Olivia looked at Fitz with wide eyes. "Do we think she wants VP?"

"We do," Fitz said. "She thinks I'm going to win."

"So do I. So does everyone."

"I know," Fitz said.

"Do you?" Olivia asked.

"I'm starting to think I might."

Tommy stirred on her knees. "And what do you think, honeybee? Do you think your daddy is going to be President?"

Tommy made a face that wasn't almost a smile, as close as he had come in his three short months of life. Olivia continued cooing at him, talking to him, and finally, he laughed. A true baby giggle.

"And so it shall be. Tommy says so," she said, looking at Fitz. He was wearing a huge smile.

"I'm so glad I was here for this," he said. "I won't always be," he said, trailing off.

"But you're here now. And your son has declared victory."

And with that, Fitz set about making Carly laugh. It was a much harder task. But Olivia sure enjoyed watching her husband and her daughter, her family, together. They had overcome a few obstacles this month, and there were sure to be many more, but if her heart could stay where it was right now, in this moment, she knew she would be alright.


	10. Chapter 10

It turns out that staying zen, and trying to make their hearts stay in the right place, is a lot more challenging in the face of political ridicule than Olivia and Fitz thought. Fitz had been through the ringer before, though it had been kindler, gentler, and much less personal. Prior to running for President four years ago, the toughest questions he fielded related to his father and privilege. They had bothered him, but with his record and his views on issues, they had been easy to manage.

Despite being the clear front-runner, Fitz still found himself answering questions about work-life balance, women's rights, stem cell research and the importance (or lack thereof) of a college education. Some of these were his passions, some of them were issues being brought up by his life, and his wife. Both he and Olivia knew that.

In strategy sessions, Fitz prepared to answer questions about Olivia's work at Stanford without sounding like she went and got the job in preparation for being First Lady. That was not the case at all, but as it turned out her work ethic following the failure of their first campaign was now both helping and hindering the second. In a way that would be comical if it were not so frustrating, pundits tried to make it appear as if Olivia had been handed the easy life, and by association, had come into a political family that now provided her with the comfort to make choices such as staying home to raise her children. Though there were groups of people that were proud of that choice, there were groups that saw it as an elitist move, one that made the couple not relatable to some Americans.

Fitz found the entire thing bizarre. For years, he had been answering questions about leading the single life, and now that his life was so much different, so much better, the criticism remained but the responses were different. Fortunately, after his first disastrous attempt to discuss Olivia's choices in public, he had become more skilled at speaking passionately about his family and relating it to families all across the country. There were some things, like specifics about Caroline and Tommy, that he was simply unwilling to discuss. The public knew Olivia had help at home. They knew the twins were almost old enough to travel on a plane to a few campaign stops, though those were not being announced as Olivia refused to schedule it given the unpredictability of the babies.

Fitz was struggling, and everyone around him knew it. When Olivia left the twins to join him on the trail was when he was at his happiest. But even then, they were without their children, and though everyone around him, including Olivia, reminded him that what he was doing was for the greater good, he still felt like he was missing important milestones at home. Being present for Tommy's first laugh had been both a blessing and a curse. On the nights when Olivia was home in California, Fitz laid in a hotel bed, his mind racing. He was leading in most of the polls. It was assumed that if he made it through Super Tuesday and then through the month of May with the same or similar numbers and no unexpected setbacks, he would have a clear path to the party's nomination. But at what cost? In those long hours, on the longest nights, he thought of his own mother. He didn't know her at all. But that hadn't been her choice. He was choosing to be away from his children. And it didn't matter what anyone told him, or what he said publically about it. It hurt him. Every day. He had once told Olivia that he always kept his mother in a place where he could feel her, and the same was true for his father. He knew what his dad would say, that these temporary sacrifices would lead to a big reward. He didn't know what his mom would say. He didn't know the sound of her voice. There were three home videos that were long since stored away, and even then she had only said a sentence here or there. What would his mother say? Three days before Super Tuesday, in the middle of the night, he had to talk to the one person who might be able to calm his nerves.

"Fitz? Are you okay?" Olivia whispered, still have asleep.

"Yes, just awake. I'm sorry to wake you, though I meant to." He laughed softly.

"Of course. What time is it there?"

"3:30," he answered. He was in Virginia and would be heading to Ohio for the actual day of the primary. "How long have you been sleeping?"

"Not long. Don't worry. How are you?"

There was a long pause. Olivia waited.

"Crappy. I miss you. I miss the kids. The dogs. Our life."

"It will all be here when you get back, and most of it will be joining you in two days," Olivia said.

"I know. I know that, but I'm still laying here and I'm thinking, what am I doing? You're there with a nanny, two kids and two dogs and I'm out here. And I'm thinking that I'm choosing this, and that seems wrong. It all seems wrong."

Olivia sighed quietly. She wasn't exasperated. She understood. She often thought of her parents during the night, during the quietest of moments.

"I understand, you know I do. All I can tell you is this. You have the full support of everyone who matters. We will stay by your side. We'll physically be there in two days. But we're always there. Just trust that. That's all I can say."

"I do. Of course. I just miss you."

"I miss you too. I can see the finish line. The days are long, but we're single digit months way from this being over. And your children won't even be one year old, and you'll be the president-elect, and oh by the way Jillian records everything."

Fitz laughed. She was right. Jillian sent videos to Olivia and Fitz and the end of each day. Sometimes it was just of the babies sleeping. Sometimes it was Carly trying to crawl. Sometimes it was Olivia cleaning Tommy up after a bottle mishap. But she was documenting the small moments, as best she could.

"Thanks, Livi," he said.

"I love you."

"Go back to sleep."

"I plan to. Will you?"

"I'll try my best. Love you."

"Love you too. See you in two days."

Sure enough, two days later, Olivia stood in the foyer of their home. She had the twins in their car seats on a double stroller. Her luggage had already been put into the car by the driver. She had a gigantic leather bag over her right shoulder, her purse, and a sleek black diaper bag hanging across her body. It had been challenging to pack for the trip, because March in Ohio can be unpredictable. She had undoubtedly over packed, and would surely take some grief from Cyrus when he saw the suitcases being unloaded. But she was as ready as she would ever be. Abby would be traveling with her. Jillian was given a vacation, partially because she had been working so hard for the past two months but also because it was decided that Olivia should be seen traveling as close to independently as possible. As Abby worked for Fitz's campaign, strategists thought it would appear a more natural situation than having the nanny be walking with Olivia through an airport. Olivia had whole-heartedly disagreed with the decision. She viewed Jillian as an important part of the team, and had told her as such. Jillian had seemed disappointed. But Olivia was learning to pick her battles, and so she went with the decision.

The plane ride was a comedy of errors. They had four seats, but as the twins could barely sit without assistance, it didn't really matter. There were bags everywhere, socks falling off little feet, slobber and tissue and sniffles and crying for the entire three hour plane ride. Olivia and Abby were both exhausted, as were Tommy and Caroline, who were sleeping in their car seats by the time the group walked out of baggage claim. There was a car waiting for them, and Olivia just about fainted when Fitz and Harrison stepped out.

Fitz walked over in two quick steps and gave her a strong kiss on the lips. Not long enough, but he was already to his children. He gazed at them, sleeping. He patted their legs, bundled under blankets to protect from the weather. He wiped an errant curl out of Carly's face. Her hair was starting to grow in after being all but absent during November and December. It was disheveled on the best days, a mass of tangles on the worst. It was a chestnut brown color now, not as dark as Olivia's and not as light as Fitz's. But it was curly. And even though Olivia thought the color might change, she knew the curls where there to stay. Tommy had less hair, and was wearing a hat that had somehow managed to stay on his head. His hair was a similar color, but straighter and, well, flatter. More easily managed. It tended to be a mohawk because of how it was growing back, heavy on the top and light on the sides. But he had soft curls around his ears and the base of his neck, and his parents wondered what his hair would be like when all was said and done.

It was either the harsh wind, or the site of his family, but Fitz wiped his watering eyes. Olivia put her arm around him and squeezed.

"Good to see you, Daddy," she said.

"You guys, too," he said, kissing the side of her head and closing his eyes. Feeling her next to him, his hand on the stroller, this was the life.

Abby and Harrison crawled into the car first, the limo, followed by Olivia who took each car seat from Fitz and snapped them into the bases he had had installed. The four adults in the car looked at each other and simultaneously burst out laughing. They had come a long way in the four years since the last campaign.

Olivia was ready for a nap by the time Fitz led her to their hotel suite. But there was one more person for her to greet, and she was sitting on the couch knitting when Olivia walked in carrying one of the car seats.

"Ms. Eleanor, I could just burst," Olivia said, setting Tommy down and embracing Eleanor in a bear hug.

"You're gorgeous as always. Now let me see these babies."

They were awake now, looking around, probably wondering what had happened to their ears. Eleanor looked at Olivia and Fitz.

"You guys go rest. According to that schedule on the table, you have about thirty minutes. I've got these two."

"Eleanor, are you sure? We just got here, I'd love to chat," Olivia said.

"Go. This could be the only quiet time you have for the rest of the day. And I need to get my hands on these children anyway," she said.

Fitz and Olivia looked at each other and shrugged.

"Thanks, Eleanor. We'll be back in thirty." Fitz dropped his jacket and took Olivia's, and then they closed the French doors that led to the bedroom part of the suite. The bed was massive. Fitz's suitcases were there, with his suits hung in the closet but t-shirts and ties strewn about. Olivia smiled. This was her husband.

"Power nap?" he said, flopping on the bed and opening his arm to her favorite spot.

She slipped out of her shoes, ballet flats for the airplane, and joined him. They both stared at the ceiling.

"I don't know if I can sleep," he said. "Today is a big day, and my family is finally here."

"My mom always said that rest was better than nothing. So let's rest," Olivia replied.

Twenty minutes later, they heard a soft knocking on the doors.

"Senator? Liv? It's Cyrus. Time to get moving."

"Got it, Cy" Fitz said, stretching. They had indeed fallen asleep, finding that comfort of each other's arms was all that was required.

"I wonder how he got past Eleanor," Olivia wondered aloud. Before rising from the bed, she sat up and turned to face Fitz.

"Baby, happy Super Tuesday. Whatever happens, I'm happy to be by your side."

"Thanks, Livi. Let's do this," he said, kissing the palm of her hand that had been resting on his cheek. He felt refreshed. The nap helped, as did waking up with his wife in his arms.

Olivia opened the doors to find Cyrus and a few other staffers sitting around the dining room table. Eleanor and the twins where nowhere to be found. Panic immediately set in.

"Where?" she said. It was all she could get out.

"The babies were sleeping. I sent Eleanor to my room. Well, I didn't send her. I walked her and carried the kids and some of their stuff to my room."

"Thanks, Cyrus. Sorry, I just," Olivia began.

"I get it. They're okay, Liv," he said, nodding. "You guys ready?"

What ensued was a thirty-minute cram session. The day's schedule, interviews scheduled with television networks for Fitz, Olivia or both. They would start the day together at a rally at small college in Ohio, then visit other neighboring towns and events before ending up back in Cincinnati for the final rally. The twins would stay with Eleanor. Abby and Harrison would manage the team in the hotel conference rooms, Lindsay would travel with Olivia and Greg and Cyrus would travel with Fitz. Olivia was giving three speeches, two that were basically fluff and supporting the ideals of her husband, and one that was a bit more personal about her choice to stay home with her children and the difficulties of balancing work and family in the ever-changing economic world. She would also be interviewed by all of the major networks, and was expecting questions about the twins.

The day, for the most part, went off without a hitch. Olivia and Fitz received constant updates from Eleanor, who had learned how to text. Their speeches were delivered to excited crowds. The networks were predictable in their questioning of the plane ride with twins and how to pack for the journey. By the time the whole team was back together in the hotel, it was 8:00 and poll numbers were coming in from around the country. Fitz was going to win Ohio, Virginia and Colorado. The only loss that was somewhat surprising, though not too damaging, was Massachusetts. He had visited Harvard and campaigned heavily there, but had narrowly lost the primary to Reston. At the end of the night, Fitz had widened his lead and gave a celebratory speech in the ballroom of the hotel that overlooked the Ohio River. When the speech was over, Olivia walked onto the stage carrying two sleeping babies. She was expecting them to wake up immediately due to thunderous applause, but what she heard instead was a hushed "Awwww" from the hundreds of people gathered to support Grant for the People 2012, and then they all began following the lead of the translator who had been using American Sign Language for the people in the audience who had hearing impairments. They applauded silently by waving their hands back and forth. It was a touching moment. Olivia and Fitz smiled broadly, Fitz taking Tommy from Olivia and then the two of them putting their free arm around each other. It may have been silent, but the camera flashes and smart phones were out in full force. After a minute, Abby came to take the babies and the crowed responded in uproarious applause. Fitz and Olivia waved, mouthed 'Thank you," and exited the stage.

The moment was lauded by some as being a moment of sensitivity and understanding from a sometimes overly-demanding public. A show of support for a candidate and his family. By others, it was panned as a staged photo opportunity. The truth didn't matter to anyone, it seemed. Had that been the only crisis Fitz's campaign faced the following morning, it would have been a cake walk. Unfortunately, a YouTube channel was going viral. It had been created the previous day and contained 12 short videos, all of Olivia and the children, or Jillian and the children, or just Olivia or just Jillian, but nonetheless the source was obvious. Jillian had shared the private moments she had been recording and sending to Fitz, seemingly to keep him in contact with his family, with the world. And her commentary was nothing short of spiteful. She criticized Olivia for the questions she asked at the interview. For the long work hours. For the way she handled daily situations as she grew into motherhood. She appeared on any show that would pay, and portrayed the Grants as a privileged family that relied on short videos to stay together and one that would sacrifice anything for the White House.

Fitz was furious. Not only was Jillian being completely dishonest, she was betraying their privacy and their trust. Olivia felt that way, but she also felt sad. Sad that Jillian felt so isolated that she had resorted to this. Confused about when and why it had gone so wrong. But she also felt compelled to help.

"Fitz, I will handle this," she said, while she fed Tommy a bottle.

"You will not," he said.

"Consider it handled. No discussion. I'll use people we know and trust and we'll sort this out. In 48 hours this will be over." She had already texted Abby, Harrison, Lindsay and Jesse and asked them to meet her in a room she had just reserved for the day.

"Livi, let us do this. Jillian's lying. She's upset and she's lashing out."

"We agree. But we are all a part of the 'us' now. A small group of us is meeting to figure out how to proceed. I'm sure we all have ideas already. You can send someone to supervise, but I'm handling this. I hired her, I told her not to come, I will fix it."

She hugged him. She hugged Eleanor. She kissed her children. Then, without a word, she quietly exited the room and made her way to her temporary headquarters. When she opened the door, she smiled. The team was there. There were already photographs in a circle on the table and tea brewing on a cart. Olivia nodded, smiled and headed to the center of the table.

"Let the fixing begin."


	11. Chapter 11

In the end, Jillian was motivated by two things: money and love. Olivia had already known about her boyfriend serving overseas. What she didn't know, and what she punished herself for not seeing sooner, was that he had anti-American tendencies, specifically anti-government, and that he was slowly succumbing to the stress of fighting a war. His mental health was deteriorating, and Jillian was very concerned about him. Olivia and Fitz agreed to help have her boyfriend honorably discharged from the military and pay for his rehabilitation services in exchange for Jillian recanting all of her previous statements and signing a privacy disclaimer for no further interviews. She was also set up with a job outside of Billings, Montana and it was understood that she would stay there. The fiasco cost Fitz's campaign dearly during April and May, but by the night of the California primary, where Fitz won handily, Reston conceded that Fitz was the party's consensus nominee. The rest of the primaries in early summer did not have an effect on the outcome, and by August, Fitz was preparing to accept his party's nomination for President of the United States at the convention in Charlotte, North Carolina.

The previous month had been a long month of campaigning. Eleanor had agreed to spend the summer in California, watching the twins when Olivia needed to travel. Because of the flexibility, Olivia and Fitz had spent most of July on a campaign bus touring the country. They had celebrated their five year anniversary in a hotel room in Boston. But the thrill of the campaign was exciting, and knowing the twins were in good hands helped Olivia sink her teeth into every conversation with a concerned citizen and every interview. The question of their mixed-race marriage was rehashed by conservatives, but almost immediately shot down by the moderate majority. Olivia spoke freely about her past, about her courtship with Fitz, about how him being a different race didn't change the pride she had for hers. But their children, she always emphasized, their children would know they were made out of love and that their cultures and values would be instilled by their family and support system, not by predetermined stereotypes.

Newspapers noted the change in Olivia's persona, from young, eager staffer in 2004 to seasoned, potential first lady in 2012. She knew she had changed quite a bit on the surface. But Fitz knew she was still the same Olivia who had stood on the driveway of his father's home in Los Angeles looking hopeful, fearful and beautiful all at once. It had just taken time for her to make alterations to her protective shell. She hadn't lost it entirely. She had just changed it to allow for people to see the real her without sacrificing who she was in the process.

Olivia and Fitz flew back to California together to relieve Eleanor and spend time at home prior to the convention. As they walked through the doors to their home, they found the twins sitting and playing with soft alphabet blocks. They had been home each weekend, but only for 24 hours, and it hit them both like a tidal wave that it had been far too long. Eleanor was sitting on the floor, handing each child something new after the previous block was discarded.

"Your home!" she said. "Tommy, Caroline, it's Mommy and Daddy!"

This was the moment Fitz had been fearing. What if they didn't recognize them? What if this had all been a huge mistake?

Olivia held her breath, she too afraid of what the next five seconds would bring.

Tommy raised his arms in the air and smiled. Carly kept the block in her mouth but squealed with delight.

Olivia and Fitz looked at each other and exhaled simultaneously, then headed over to spend the rest of the day playing with their children.

Eleanor had agreed to travel to Charlotte with the Grant family. She knew they were in the final stages of the campaign and, truth be told, she had always enjoyed her job. She liked taking care of people. She hadn't taken care of babies in quite some time, but Tommy and Caroline were precious to her. She didn't have any family except for her sister, who lived alone in New Mexico. She was going to travel there and spend the month of August with her sister before joining the Grants in North Carolina.

The time as a family of four was treasured by both Olivia and Fitz. He only campaigned in California, Oregon, Washington and Nevada during August so that he was home every night. He helped with feedings and baths. They walked around the neighborhood and made lemonade using the lemons from Olivia's anniversary tree. A week before they were set to depart, right around the time the twins turned nine months old, the family was a having a picnic in the family room. Really this meant that Olivia and Fitz were eating dinner at the coffee table while entertaining Tommy and Carly before bedtime. Olivia took a bite of her salad and then a quick sip of water before getting Fitz's attention.

"Baby, look," she said.

"What?" he said, still looking at the television.

"No, Fitz, look at the baby. Look at Carly."

They both looked. She had been sitting and playing with a stuffed puppy, a replica of Tock that had been a present from Eleanor. Carly had tossed it and it was out of her reach. She put herself on her stomach and started scooting toward the dog, and then, as if she had been waiting for the moment when both of her parents were watching, crawled to the dog and picked him up and sat and began to play as if nothing had happened.

Fitz and Olivia went wild. He picked Carly up and swung her around while Olivia grabbed Tommy and held him in her lap, saying "Yay, sister!" and clapping his hands. Both babies thought this was hilarious. Both older Grants knew it was a memory that would stay with them forever.

The night before they were set to leave for North Carolina, and really before Fitz was set to begin the last two months of his campaign, they had a quiet dinner at home. They took a stroll through the neighborhood, dogs included, and received congratulatory waves from neighbors. After the twins were asleep, they decided to go straight to bed, to make the most of their last stress-free night in their home for the foreseeable future.

Their first love-making session had begun as soon as the bedroom door was closed. It was frantic at first, as clothes were removed and kisses were short and sloppy. But when they got to the bed, it slowed down. Fitz took his time removing the rest of Olivia's undergarments, and she slid his boxers down his leg using her pedicured toes at a pace that drove him crazy. He savored every inch of her. She was the same Olivia he had married, but she had now given birth to the two most precious gifts in his life, and for that she was more breathtaking than ever. As he entered her, he kept his eyes open, and so did she. She had a look that was a mixture of serenity and determination. He loved making love to her. The fact that they didn't always have the time to do it the way they liked made this time that much more special. As they both climaxed, together, he fell onto and held her while she scratched his back and kissed his ear. His body shuddered once more and he was mush in her arms. She wrapped her leg around him and they fell asleep.

An hour later, after a shower and another orgasm for each of them, they were laying in bed with the doors open to the deck, letting the summer breeze fill the room. It wasn't humid in at the moment California, so they took advantage of it.

"How's your speech?" she asked him, rubbing her hands up and down his arms that were around her.

"How's yours?" he countered, kissing her neck.

"It's good. Getting there. Introducing you is terrifying and exhilarating. I just have to remember to leave out the parts about you talking in your sleep and all of the phone sex we've had."

"Save that for the next election," he said, laughing.

"Fitz," she said.

"Olivia."

"You're going to win. You know that, right?"

She squirmed and turn to face him. Their naked bodies touching had him ready for round three.

"I'm serious!" she said, stopping him from rolling her over on top of him.

"I know you are. I don't want to think about it."

"Let's think about it. For one minute. Let's."

They had done this before. Imagined their lives in Washington. Their children and dogs in the White House. It had been a while. The campaign and life had gotten in the way of their fantasies.

Fitz smiled. "The first thing I'm going to do is let you redecorate our bedroom. You have always had a knack for just the right pillows. I doubt they have what we need now."

Olivia was happy he was playing along. "Pillows, yes. And I wonder if Carly and Tommy should share a room, or if we should have them be connected? And how soon can we get a swing-set in the yard?"

"Day one, for sure."

"I like your stance on swing-sets, Mr. President."

"We'll also need lemons and oranges on all of the tables. And a water table in the rose garden so the kids get used to making sand castles."

"And a new rug in the Oval. I don't like the plaid that's there now."

Fitz bellowed. "Here it is. Here's why we played this game. You just had to get that in there."

She kissed him. "You know how I feel about patterns. Too much is too much."

"Which is the exact opposite of how I feel about you. Too much is," he said, rolling her on top of him so that she was straddling him, "never enough."

* * *

Before Olivia was announced to introduce Fitz on the final evening of the convention, Cyrus joined her backstage. Fitz and Olivia had already shared a moment, and the twins were in a quiet room with Eleanor.

"Liv, we're here. What'd I tell you about the desination?"

"You told me to trust you. That it was magical. And you're right, it is."

"Our guy, he's going to win this. We're headed to the White House."

"No pressure, though, right?"

"None. Break a leg," he said, laughing. "And thank you for being what Fitz needed. He wouldn't be here without you."

"And he wouldn't be here without you, either, Cyrus. Really. It's been quite the campaign."

"It really has. I'm amazing. Is that in your speech?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure," she said, laughing as he pulled her into a hug.

"Go get 'em, kid."

Olivia's name was announced by a young researcher from a small university in Alabama who had benefited from a program like the one she had begun at Stanford. He had been given opportunities he may have missed otherwise, and he praised her for her vision and the value she placed on education before introducing her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mrs. Olivia Grant!"

Olivia gave herself one last lookover before beginning the long walk to the podium. She was wearing a black high-waisted skirt with a red belt and with a tucked-in red cashmere short-sleeved sweater. Classic black pumps. She looked trendy but not hip. Classy and classic but not outdated. She wore her wedding and engagement rings on her left hand as always, but tonight, for luck, she wore the first ring from Fitz on her right thumb along with her bracelet on her right wrist.

"Thank you, thank you so much," Olivia began, waiting for the crowd to settle. Convention crowds were notoriously raucous. She knew this, but it still overwhelmed her a little.

"I met Fitzgerald Grant, Fitz, in person for the first time in 2004. He was a young, vibrant and proud Californian who was having the time of his life serving his state and his country as a senator. But something from our first conversation has stuck with me, through our courtship, our marriage and the birth our children."

Applause from the crowd. Olivia took a breath.

"Fitz asked me if I knew about his good work. The work for which he was most proud. It mattered to him that I knew, and it matters to him that you all know, that he places no higher value than on the work that affects us all. He knows that navigating the political waters is important, but he truly believes that the work he does, and the work he plans to do as your President, can change lives for the better. That it can change the world."

Applause. Another breath.

"Is it optimistic to assume Fitz will take office and all will be right in the world? Absolutely. But I won't let us be punished for being optimistic. What is our alternative? Do we hope for the best but expect the worst? I think we're better than that, America. I know we're better than that I know that my husband is the man to get us all believing that, too. To rebuild our relationships around the globe. To improve the lives of children and families at home. To serve as a model leader, commander in chief."

Applause.

"You might be asking, Olivia, how do you know?"

The crowd had been prepped. The echoed her. "Olivia, how do you know?"

She smiled and continued. "I know because I have witnessed Fitz Grant doing the good work for almost ten years. I see him with our children and I know they are blessed to have him as a father. I see him with his friends, yes, but also with people we have met around the country. He listens. He hears. He responds with kindness and compassion. I submit to you tonight that we should expect nothing less from our husbands, our fathers, our friends, our President. And that is why Fitzgerald Grant is going to be the next President of the United States."

Applause.

"Without further ado, please help me in welcoming your candidate, my best friend, my husband, Fitz Grant!"

Fitz walked out wearing a navy blue suit and a tie that Olivia had, of course, hand-picked. The suit fit him perfectly, as did the smile on his face as he waved and made his way toward Olivia at the podium. She stepped away to embrace him before leaving the stage.

"But what about the phone sex?" he whispered in her ear.

She broke out in laughter, partially because he shocked her but also because she was so relieved that her speech was over. She kissed him on the cheek and told him good luck and that she loved him, then smiled and waved as she walked off stage. She watched proudly as he accepted the nomination, thanked everyone for their hard work and prepared them for the final push of the campaign. When his speech was over, she joined him on stage. The twins were sleeping and so it was decided they wouldn't make a public appearance at the convention.

But as Fitz and Olivia held hands, smiled and waved, as they were getting so used to doing, it was helpful for both of them to know that their children were nearby and that they would be there when the hoopla was over. The next stop, following three debates, was election day.


	12. Chapter 12

Olivia and Fitz were apart for much of September and October, except for days before and of the three debates. Olivia campaigned in states neighboring California, but also flew to support Fitz when necessary.

Two days before the election, Fitz had his finally campaign rally in Wisconsin. He then flew home to California, where he would spend election day. He would start in San Diego, and work his way toward headquarters in San Francisco, where Olivia, Carly, Tommy and the rest of the team would be waiting for him.

Because of the way the travel schedule worked out, Olivia and Fitz didn't spend the night before the election together. He flew straight to Southern California. It wasn't ideal; they missed each other deeply, but it really was the last night they would be apart for months.

"Livi, I wish you were here. I know why you can't be, but I still wish you were," he said as they both lay in bed.

"We're waiting for you at the end of the trail," she said. "Wait until you see the twins' victory outfits."

He laughed. She was so confident. He was quietly confident, as the numbers appeared to indicate that he would have a solid victory in the general election. But he was also being managed by Cyrus, who had a nervous energy that wouldn't let Fitz truly settle until every vote was counted.

"And we decided on the wagon?" he asked.

"We did. They're sitting fine. It has seat belts. If they're awake, you'll wheel them out in the wagon, and then we'll each take one and do the Ms. America walk of victory."

He laughed again. "When did you get to be this funny?"

"I've always been this funny. But I usually reserve it for when I'm feeling totally comfortable that my husband is about to be elected President of the United States."

He sighed.

"Fitz? You okay?"

"I am. Just letting that sink in."

"I'm so proud of you. We all are," she said, scratching Bodger's ears.

"You're going be First Lady. How's that sinking for you?"

"Oh I'm terrified," she said. "But also ready. I think it would be weird if I wasn't scared."

"You're right. This feeling is normal."

"Fitz, you ran a clean campaign. You have great ideas, real ideas that might help people. And you have a family that loves you. All good things, baby," she said.

"I love you, Livi."

"I love you too."

"So you'll be around town tomorrow?"

They reviewed her schedule. She would make visits to Stanford, rallies in San Francisco and Oakland and San Jose. Eleanor would watch the children until early evening when the entire team would convene at a downtown hotel. The finally rally, and hopefully the victory celebration, would take place outdoors in the heart of the city.

"You know, you're the light at the end of the trail, right? I can't believe I might win. It seems inconceivable. But it would mean nothing if I didn't have my family at the end."

"I know. And I agree. Let's try and sleep. Tomorrow's a big day."

"Okay. I'll talk to you in the morning. And when I see you," he trailed off.

"We'll hold each other like we always do, no matter what." She smiled. She wanted to call him 'Mr. President' but was trying to calm his nerves rather than make him more anxious.

"No matter what. I love you, Livi. Kiss the kids for me."

"Done and done. I love you, too. Goodnight, Fitz."

"'Night Livi."

Olivia awoke early, before Eleanor, and went and sat in the twins' bedroom. They were just about at the point where they needed to have separate rooms. Carly was sleeping soundly, but being awoken by Tommy. It was a vicious cycle. She thought she might paint Carly a pale yellow room since she always sang 'You Are My Sunshine' to her when she was upset. Tommy would have trains. He liked the Thomas cartoons and throwing toy trains around the living room floor. It was only a matter of time before Fitz built him a train table.

She had all of these thoughts and then realized she didn't know where these rooms would be. Would they be here, in California? Or would they be in the residence of the White House? The thought gave her the chills. She had been trying to be a pillar for Fitz, grounded, but she was of course nervous about what the next year, four years or eight years might hold.

She left the twins sleeping and got ready for the day. She was going to wear a pant suit for the day, grey with a red and white floral patterned shell, and then switch into a dress she had chosen for the final rally. When she left her bedroom, she found Eleanor up and dressed and sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee.

"Good morning," Olivia said, pouring herself some hot water from the kettle Eleanor had started for her.

"Good morning. You're looking beautiful and confident today," she said, sipping her coffee.

"I'm glad. That was the goal. Thank you again for watching them today. I'll be back around 4:00 and we'll head over to the hotel together, right?"

"Yes. I'll have them in travel outfits and we'll change them into their victory outfits right before they head out."

"Yes, smart. You always know what to do," she said, joining Eleanor at the table.

"So do you. You have a lot happening in the next eight hours. Let me handle the babies until you get back. We'll be fine."

"I know. Thank you."

"Stop saying thank you. It's my pleasure. Now go, the car has been here for ten minutes."

"Why does Cyrus always send it so early?" Olivia said, sighing.

"Because he knows you're always ready right on time. See you at 4:00."

She kissed Eleanor's cheek. "See you at 4:00."

The day for Fitz and Olivia was a whirlwind. They both spoke to so many people, big groups, small groups and individuals, that they barely had time to think about missing each other. By the time they were both on their way to the hotel, they had been apprised of the situation. Fitz was leading in all of the key states. The lack of success of the sitting president, and the relatively easy primary season, had helped pave the way to the White House.

When Fitz walked into the hotel suite before going to the second floor, most of which was conference rooms that had been reserved by the campaign, he stopped in his tracks before making any more noise. His wife, children and dogs were all laying on the oversized bed, asleep. It looked like Olivia had just fallen into bed. Her heels were next to the bed and she was wearing pants and a sleeveless silk shirt. The babies were in their sleepers, both on their stomachs, almost holding hands. The dogs were in the bottom corner, near Olivia's feet. He wanted nothing more than to somehow squeeze himself into the situation but he knew there wasn't time. Instead, he just sat in a chair and watched them for five solid minutes. Olivia had been right. They had been waiting for him.

She woke up and lifted her head, smiling when she saw him. Very carefully, she eased herself off of the bed, getting disgruntled sighs from the dogs but without waking the twins. She made her way over to him and sat in his lap.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," he replied, burying his face in her chest.

"I was sleeping."

He laughed. "Yes, I saw."

"I'm so happy to see you," she said, kissing the side of his head.

"Me too. We go the rest of the way together, right?"

"Always."

They embraced and then Olivia stood up.

"I should change. You should change. I'll call Eleanor when we're ready. She must have gone to her own room when we fell asleep."

Thirty minutes later, the Grants were ready. Fitz was in a stunning dark navy blue suit, with a white shirt and a raspberry, navy blue and white striped tie. Olivia was wearing a raspberry colored sleeveless dress that went to her knees with navy blue chandelier earrings and classic navy pumps. The fabric of the dress had a shimmer to it, but wasn't sparkly. It had been designed for her by an up and coming designer, and she loved it. She wasn't going to wear a sweater or a jacket; it was mild for early November in California.

The twins were still just wearing comfortable onsies, but their outfits were adorable. Caroline would be wearing a dress similar to Olivia's, except with white tights and matching raspberry shoes. Olivia hoped she would have time to get a headband in Carly's hair before they went on stage. Tommy would be wearing a white sweater and navy blue corduroy pants and brown baby topsiders. If he would allow, they would have him in a navy blue hat. That would be a game-time decision.

Fitz took a picture of he and Olivia on his cell phone, then she called Eleanor. Fitz and Olivia wanted to visit the room and thank everyone for their hard work, and then they would wait for the final results in a different suite.

Walking into the room was enough to bring tears to anyone's eyes. There were more than fifty people who had committed years of their lives to this campaign and whose hard work would soon pay off. Olivia shook as many hands as she could, saying sincere thanks. She embraced Abby, Harrison, Lindsay, Jesse, Cyrus and James. When she gave Cyrus a hug, she whispered to him that Tom Grant would be proud. They both stood back and surveyed the room.

"He would, wouldn't he? I can almost here him bossing me around, telling me I had to get out here and see Fitz for myself. He was right."

Olivia smiled, thinking of her first time meeting Tom and Fitz. "He was. You've done an amazing job."

Cyrus clapped twice. "Almost there, Liv, almost there." He went back to work, pacing the room, checking in with people who were clicking furiously on laptops and watching television screens.

Olivia met up with Fitz near the center of the room. He put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed. She leaned into him and looked up.

"It's happening," she said.

"It is."

Fitz was in a contemplative mood. It was surreal to be standing in a room full of people who had a single-minded goal of making him President. That he was standing there without his father was painful. This had started as his father's dream and become his own, and without his dad's pressure, sometimes warranted and sometimes undue, he would not be where he was today. He wouldn't be in the room. He wouldn't be married to Olivia. Without realizing it, or maybe he had known along, his father had shaped his life into the dream he was too scared to have for himself.

"Alright! People, turn to the big screen!" Cyrus yelled, quieting the room. Everyone turned toward the largest television in the room, where a network new anchor was preparing to make an announcement.

"We can now confirm, at 10:05 Eastern Standard Time on November 6, 2012, that Senator Fitzgerald Grant III of California has secured enough delegates and will be elected President of the United States."

The room erupted. Hand-slapping, hugging, squealing, clapping. Olivia turned to Fitz, who was already looking at her. She had tears in her eyes. She was so proud of this man. For who he was, and for who he would be. She put her arms around his neck.

"Congratulations, Mr. President."

He put his arms around her waist, lifted her up and swung her in circles, to the delight and applause of everyone in the room. Her laughter in his ear was almost melodical. He put her down and put his hands on either side of his face.

"I love you, Madam First Lady. I love you so much."

"I love you too. I think they're waiting for you to say something," she said, noting that the room was hushed.

"I know. But I need you to know, all of this," he said looking around.

"I know, Fitz. I love you."

He kissed her again, holding his forehead against hers for a moment, and then turned and thanked everyone who had gotten them to this victory.

Forty minutes later, the limo arrived to carry the Grants to the rally site where Fitz would deliver his victory speech. Olivia and Fitz each carried a car seat. The twins were awake and happy, and Olivia wished she could speed up time to guarantee their good moods for their moment on the big stage.

They were led out of the limo under a tent toward the stage. They could hear people chanting 'U.S.A.!" and "Grant!" while celebratory music played. The wagon idea, though it would have made a great photo opportunity, was scrapped. As soon as Olivia tried to set Carly down, she stuck out her bottom lip, and it was quivering. Fitz scooped her up immediately, recognizing the warning signs of a crying fit. Instead, they straightened their outfits and as soon as the music started playing, the Grant family walked out into the California night hand in hand, a baby in the arms of each parent.

The crowd went wild. Olivia had never seen so many people before in her life. She let go of Fitz's hand and waved, and then kissed Tommy and whispered, "Say hi," and helped him wave his hand. The child ate up the attention and was in awe of the crowd. He began smiling and squealing and Olivia was happy that he was happy. She glanced over at Fitz, who was on the other side of the stage. Carly was asleep. In the midst of thousands of people, she was asleep. Fitz turned back and winked at Olivia. He looked so happy, so proud. For just a moment she drowned out the noise and just focused on Fitz and Carly, trying to remember forever what they looked like in this moment.

Fitz and Olivia made their way to the front of the stage, where they rejoined their hands and spent a minute listening to the applause. When it was time for Fitz to begin his speech, he turned to her.

"I love you, Livi."

"And I love you. Give a good speech."

He smiled and kissed her on the cheek. He carefully handed a sleeping Carly to her, kissed each of his children's heads, then Olivia one more time, and she smiled at the crowd and walked off of the stage with a baby in each arm. In the following days, pundits would comment on the ease with which she walked with two babies in three-inch heels, and the toned muscles in her arms.

She walked straight to the area where the twins car seats were and helped Eleanor secure them. They would wait in the car with a staffer. Olivia insisted that Eleanor be backstage with her and be a witness to the moment in person. They held hands as they listened to Fitz's speech. When it was over, Olivia joined him once more on stage.

"Here she is, Ms. America," he whispered in her ear as he kissed her and put his arm around her.

Olivia laughed. They walked the length of the stage together, stopping occasionally to take in the sight. As confident as she had been, it was still almost unbelievable that she was here. Nine years ago she had arrived in California with a plan. Almost everything about the plan had changed, but she had stayed true to herself, as had Fitz, and they had found their way to the magical destination that had seemed out of the grasp only four years prior.

Later that evening, as they laid in their own bed after putting the twins to bed, together in their home, they held each other tighter than perhaps they ever had. Olivia felt Fitz shake his head slightly.

She maneuvered her body to be at his eye level.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm just, this is a dream. Just this. You in my arms with our children sleeping in the next room and our dogs scrounging for food in the kitchen."

She smiled.

"And now, I'm," he said, trailing off.

"You're the President-elect of the United States."

"I am. And that is just icing on the cake. Don't tell anyone I said that. Especially Cyrus."

"Your secret is safe with me," she said, kissing him on the lips.

"Will you help me with something, Livi?"

"Anything."

"Later, when I'm stressed or frustrated or feeling lonely, remind me of this feeling if I forget it."

"Of course. But guess what?" she said.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter what you face in the future. This feeling will stay. I know it will."

He smiled and kissed her.

"I love you."

"I love you."

They drifted to sleep in each other's arms. At some point, the dogs joined them. The jingle of their tags brought Olivia to a state of being almost conscious, and she turned to look at her husband sleeping next to her. She knew she was right. That no matter what happened, the way she felt now about him, about their family, and about what they had accomplished together would stay with her forever.


End file.
